Confession of an indian women

I’m a 17 year old girl. When I was in mid of my 10th class I started falling for a guy. He lives nearby my house. I started founding me so attractive. Then one day I sent him friend request. After 2 days he accepted and his 3rd message to me was he loves me. I was very young and for me all that was just like a fairy tale. After some days I accepted his love for me. Initially I thought that he must had so many girlfriends because he was so good looking and I was an average looking girl that time. Then he started playing his tricks and started making me realize that he is a good guy and he trapped me. I became blind for him. Then one day we kissed. For me that was first time. After some time my parents got informed of my relationship so I broke up and slowly I realized his true face. I was right, he wasn’t a good guy. After 2 years of this I don’t know what happened to me I again started falling for him. He tried several times to talk to me after our breakup but I ignored. Then one day I was missing him so much so I sent him friend request again . we talked and he said he missed me so much. Now at this time I know I deserve someone better than him but I don’t know why I just cant leave him. I’m dating him again. He is using me for his physical pleasures. I want to get out of all this mess. I don’t know what to do. I think I don’t like him but I got so much close to him physically that leaving him now will make me characterless. I’m so tensed. I wanna get out of this but not getting anyway.