Confession of Girl in relationship with relative’s son

I am a 24 years old woman who used to be very happy with my life, but now I don’t know what to do. I was in a relationship with someone who is also a well-known relative’s son from my father’s side.

We started dating in 2017, and he treated me badly even during my periods. I once called him, panicking, because I had stains while traveling home on a bus during my B.Tech, but he arrogantly scolded me for calling, saying, “I don’t want you. I’m breaking up with you. Don’t you have any shame calling me again? I’m chilling with my friends, going to my village for my sister’s marriage.” I was heartbroken that day.

After cutting the call, I cried so hard on the way home for 25 minutes straight and walked home in 2018. That day, I decided I would never accept him again, no matter what, and that I wouldn’t even look at his face at any family functions. I struggled with depression for two years, but by 2020, I started transforming myself. I focused on self-improvement, lost 27 kgs through diet and exercise, and became strong. I moved on from his thoughts completely.

One day, my cousins mentioned that my smile resembled his mother’s, and they were talking about him. I felt like he had told them something, ruining my character in front of them. So, I contacted him, knowing I wouldn’t accept him back and that I had no feelings for him. I messaged him, saying “Hello,” and then asked, “Did you tell anyone?” He said no, and I replied, “Okay, thanks. That was our past. Please don’t tell anyone.” Then I said goodbye.

But he suddenly said, “I love you so much, even now. I realize your value. I can’t live without you. Please accept me. I haven’t been well since you left me. I want to marry you. Please give me one last chance.” He begged me so hard. I told him I wasn’t interested, that I loved myself, and that I didn’t need anyone. But in the end, I accepted him again.

Twenty days after I accepted him, he somehow forced me to sleep with him and took my virginity. After that, he kept forcing me every time, not even caring about my situation. Even during my periods, when my body was in bad cramps and pain, he still forced me. I will never, ever forget that.

After a year, I convinced my parents that I wanted to marry him, and they accepted my decision, trusting me. When I told him my parents wanted to meet him and that they had accepted the marriage, he scolded me, shouting, “Why did you tell them? I can’t marry now. I need time.” Then he broke up with me, saying, “I can’t marry you now. My mom will have a heart attack if I do.”

I was shattered, depressed, and have had panic attacks ever since. I lost my career, have been sitting at home for the past two years since finishing my B.Tech, and my parents have lost trust in me. Now, they don’t even let me go out. They have locked every account of mine and check my phone daily. Out of concern, they even cut off my friends because they know I have become very weak mentally. They also know that if that cheater comes back, he can manipulate and cheat me again.

Eight months ago, I even begged him once, but he arrogantly said he didn’t love me anymore. He told me he had a girlfriend at his office and sent me a picture of them together. He said he would never marry me, and if I forced him by telling his mom and relatives about our relationship, even if he did marry me, he would stay with other women and not with me.

He only has a degree but is enjoying life in an MNC, while I, with a B.Tech, am sitting at home due to anxiety and panic issues caused by him. Now, I feel like if I get a job, he will come back into my life for my money, marry me for my job, and torture me for life. So, my parents want me to marry someone of their choice first and then start working, instead of getting a job before marriage.

Question: What should I do now? Should I get a job, and if he comes back, accept him?

Options:

1. Get a job and accept him if he comes back.

2. Get a job and marry someone else.

3. Marry someone else first, then start a career and get a job.