Our relationship started when I was 26. He was my distant relative. Our conversations started casually with text messages. As days passed, we met in Bangalore. One day, while driving on his bike, he asked me to hold him as I was sitting far and feeling sleepy. That day, he felt love for me.
We went on long drives. One day, he suddenly tried to kiss me, and I wasn’t ready for it-I was in shock. Later, he told me that he had liked me for a long time but never got the chance to text me because he assumed I might tell my cousins. I made it clear that our relationship should be like that of a brother and sister, so things wouldn’t work out between us. I didn’t want to take it forward, and he agreed.
One day, he asked if we could go on a trip to Ooty. I was fine with it as I love to travel and explore new places. There, he showered me with so much affection and care. I could really see how much he loved me in his eyes. He started hugging and kissing me, and we got intimate. I couldn’t stop him as I had strong feelings for him. That same day, he told me he loved me deeply.
I took my phone and wanted to tell my mother and brother about it to confirm if it was fine, but he stopped me and made me promise not to tell anyone until things were stable. I trusted him since he was my distant relative. After returning from the trip, he would come to my PG every day after office hours, traveling nearly 17 km from his place to mine. I felt like he was putting in a lot of effort for me. We started booking Oyo rooms every weekend.
There was a lot of romance between us. He started checking my phone, and I stayed calm and quiet because I trusted him. I gave him my password, and he also gave me his phone, but I never checked his chats, whereas he always did.
If any of my male friends texted me, he would take it the wrong way and judge me. If I was on a call, he would ask me to send a screenshot of whom I was talking to, and I would send it because I had nothing to hide. The worst part was that he would ask how long I spoke with someone. I felt upset and bad about it, but he would justify it by saying, “I love you so much, that’s why I’m possessive.”
He asked me to get even closer and wanted to have sex. I clearly told him to inform his family first so we could discuss our future, and then we could proceed. But he insisted that I should be there for him in every way. When I refused, he suggested staying away from each other for a while because he had so many feelings he couldn’t control. If I was calm, he would call and text me constantly. If I replied late, he would doubt me and assume I was talking to someone else-that’s why I wasn’t ready for sex.
Despite everything, he showered me with so much care and affection. One day, I finally agreed. After our first intimate moment, I noticed he became cold and emotionless. I was a virgin and bled that day. I had severe pain, but he didn’t react the way I expected. Instead, he said, “Blood will come-should I take you to the hospital and admit you? Don’t overreact.” I felt broken but stayed silent.
Slowly, I noticed him ignoring my texts and calls. He would get irritated and say he had too much work at the office and very little time for anything else. I would fight and cry a lot, but he wouldn’t react.
After ten days, I went to his place and met him in person. I didn’t see any excitement in his eyes. Instead, he seemed irritated with me. He said he had a lot of work and that I had kept him waiting for an hour. My heart couldn’t tolerate his cold behavior. I simply cried on the road without saying a word. He didn’t even try to console me.
Instead, he said, “Please go to your place. I have a lot of work to do. Don’t create drama in public-it’s humiliating for me.”
I couldn’t stop my tears-I was broken. I gave him snacks that I had brought from home, but he threw them on the road, booked an auto for me, and made me go back to my hostel. He said he couldn’t tolerate me anymore because I didn’t understand him. Then he said, “Let’s break up.”
I asked him one question:
“If I am so irritating and my behavior is bothering you so much, then how did you love me, have romance with me, and have sex with me?”
He replied:
“You were the one who forced me to have sex. You acted on the bed without any love. You don’t love me at all. You didn’t even bleed-it was something else. Just go away from me.”
Then, he blocked me everywhere except on Instagram.
I was deeply shattered. I never expected him to behave this way-I had loved him deeply. I couldn’t even go to the office. I would call him many times a day and cry without knowing what to do. He neither answered my calls nor responded to my texts. He wasn’t even at his place. I fell into severe depression and couldn’t tolerate the pain. His words left me in agony.
I asked one of his close friends about him while crying. His friend asked me what had happened, saying, “You consider me your friend-share your pain and be happy.” I briefly explained what had happened. His friend felt sorry and told me to stay calm. He said, “If he really likes you, he will come back. Don’t chase him.”
Slowly, his friend started flirting with me. I couldn’t understand what was wrong with him. I felt like everything was toxic. I escalated the issue to my boyfriend, and he reacted by saying that I had given his friend too much liberty, which was why he was behaving this way. He verbally abused me, called me a slut, and compared me to a prostitute. He accused me of planning to sleep with his friend.
He said, “It’s disgusting to share our personal matters with a friend-I will never accept it.” I attempted suicide and fell into severe depression. When he found out, he didn’t even react.
After two months, he unblocked me. One day, he told me I looked very beautiful and praised me a lot. I asked him clearly, “What’s the point of talking like this? Do you love me? Do you want to marry me, or what?”
He replied, “I am not interested in you. But if a girl looks good, what’s wrong with praising her?”
I told him to block me and never talk to me again.
I escalated everything to his sister and brother-in-law. His sister said, “As if you’re the only one suffering in this world! You should have told me if you really loved him. Even if he denied you, you should have been careful about guys. Guys will abuse-it’s very common. At least be thankful he’s not blackmailing you with pictures or videos.”
She further added, “Karma always returns to those who do wrong.”
I am deeply disappointed and shattered. There was no guilt on their faces. My boyfriend lied to me many times. He claimed he lost his job and was looking for a new one, but later, I saw his profile on a matrimony site. He looked happy, enjoying his life, and had gone on multiple international trips.
I am the one who is still unable to move on, still stuck with the pain and abuse he gave me. I have many questions in my mind:
- Did he love me?
- Did he leave me just because I told his close friend?
- Why does he have no guilt for what he did? Am I the wrong person?
Where is karma? I am the only one suffering. I don’t see him unhappy or sad anytime! Why do good people always suffer so much?
Question: Did he really love me? What was his intention? Did he leave me because I shared it with his friend?
Option 1: Lust/Use/Time Pass
Option 2: Love