It all started 2 years ago. We met at work and quickly became friends. She’s 28 and from Calcutta. The bond grew, and I caught feelings for her. I was going to confess the same to her on her birthday. To my surprise, she celebrated her birthday privately. I respected that, and later she told me that she was with her boyfriend. She kept this fact hidden to maintain a balance between her professional and personal life, with me being an exception as she trusted me as her friend. I felt hurt, but at the same time, I decided to respect her choice and still wanted to be her friend.
So, I started creating distance just to kill my feelings for her. The distance I created wasn’t helpful, as we used to work together and just grew closer as time passed. She started sharing her relationship problems, and I was able to gauge that her boyfriend wasn’t really into her. I convinced myself that I’m not the right person to judge, so I always advised her to sort the problems by talking it out with him and not to take any third person’s advice. I always encouraged her to keep the 6-year-old relationship alive, as it’s rare to find love in today’s world. I advised her to look at the bigger picture if she loved him and to decide things on her own, as long as her happiness, dignity, and self-respect weren’t compromised.
She always cherished our friendship and had full faith in me as a friend, which caused me to drown in guilt. I started questioning my worth as a friend in her life. Later, it turned out that they broke up. I never wished for her to lose her relationship; all I wanted was for her to be happy. She started diverting all her focus to work, and I helped her move out of that phase of depression and self-doubt. I kept my feelings a secret, never mentioning them to any of our common friends at work. One day, she fell sick, and since she had no one to take care of her in Mumbai, I took it upon myself to ensure her health was restored. She expressed her gratitude and mentioned that she would never want our friendship to break.
While I tease her occasionally that I’ll be the one to marry her, she never takes it seriously and always says that she won’t marry a kid. Lately, people started noticing my feelings for her, and they started teasing both of us. We both ignored them and didn’t make a fuss about it. She always said to their faces that I wouldn’t hide such things from her, and she trusts that I will never hide anything from her.
My situation right now is a dilemma. Should I confess to her and speak my heart out, knowing that she wants something else from her life partner? She wants a person who is settled in life, whereas I am an ambitious person running after my goals right now. I don’t feel like breaking her trust. I’m okay with not entering into a relationship with her but loving her from a distance for the rest of eternity. But I still dream of having a life and growing old with her.
Question: Should I confess?
Option 1: Yes
Option 2: No
talk to her privately and express ur feelings. not expecting love in return. express that u can’t cheat her or urself staying the same. if she finds someone else, in the fear of losing ur frndshp u will suffer again.
better express and accept whatever the response she gives rather than suffering silently and losing ur happiness.