I Loved Him Madly, Followed All His Rules, But He Never Wants Me

I never loved anyone in my life, but I loved this guy madly-more than myself. After my PUC, I moved to another place for my further studies. At my college freshers’ party, I met a guy, and we danced together. That night, we exchanged our Instagram IDs. A few days later, he proposed to me. I accepted just because he was a good guy and from a good family. I don’t mean a rich family, just a good one. We started loving each other-a lot, truly a lot.

After we got into a relationship, he told me how he had cheated on two girls before me. Still, I believed in him. I didn’t dwell on his past. But after some time, he started putting restrictions on me. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere, not even with friends. He asked me to deactivate my Instagram, not have a WhatsApp profile picture, and so on. I swear I followed everything-everything. But still, he would tell me to get lost.

In this 1.5-year relationship, I put in all the effort. From good morning texts to good night calls, I did everything. If I didn’t call, he never called me back. He imposed so many restrictions beyond limits, and yet, I followed them. I always argued a lot, but at the end of the day, I was the one who convinced him and begged him not to leave me. But his common dialogue was always, “Get lost, I will get 101 girls who love me.” But I always told him, “You might get one, but you won’t get me.”

I am not praising myself, but I am quite cute. He, on the other hand, had so much attitude. He was a topper, while I scored a lower CGPA in exams-mainly because I was doing a professional course and wasn’t a regular student in college. I needed help, but despite being my boyfriend, he never helped me. He always told me I should study on my own. It was okay, I accepted it.

There was an incident where we had a big fight. In that state of mind, I blindly crossed a main road without thinking. I had an accident and got injured. My leg was hurt badly, I couldn’t walk, and even breathing was painful for a few days. He didn’t even care. I didn’t matter to him. But I let that incident go.

If I left him, he never messaged me back. Should I have convinced him every time? Or was he cheating on me? I don’t understand. I feel like no girl would convince a guy as much as I did. Sometimes, I feel bad about what I put myself through. But the person I loved madly never wanted me. I don’t even know why I am so attached to him.

Here’s a question for the people reading this:

Everyone in a relationship accepts gifts from their loved ones. I know it’s childish and immature, but I just wanted him to gift me something-just something small, not expensive. But in 1.5 years, he never gave me anything. Not even a water bottle. Instead, I gave him money because it wasn’t his own-it was his father’s money. He said terrible things to me, called me bad names. Still, I accepted him and told myself, “It’s okay, he will improve.”

I loved him so much that I can’t forget him. But now, I have decided I don’t want him anymore. Still, my heart tells me I do. I can’t express this to anyone. Recently, my professional exam results were declared, and instead of supporting me, he demotivated me. He compared me to his friends, saying, “They cleared their exams, why didn’t you?”

Where I am studying, I don’t have a single friend who truly cares about me. Even in my hostel, I feel lonely. I have my old friends, but none in this city. Even my roommate is in a relationship, and whenever I see her, I remember him.

Question: Did I make a mistake by putting in so much effort?

Option 1: Yes

Option 2: No