I’m a 22-year-old woman from Nepal, and I have to share my story-I’m at a breaking point. I’ve only had one boyfriend before, and it was nothing short of toxic. We were related, and he manipulated me into the relationship, gained my trust, then used me. Meanwhile, I was fighting battles on multiple fronts-my mother was battling cancer, and I was preparing for my medical entrance exams for the second time, alongside the stress of my bachelor’s exams and projects.
He came into my life in December, just months before my medical entrance exam in April 2022. The mental stress, sleepless nights, and panic attacks got so intense that I ended up making a blunder on my OMR sheet, failing the exam. By some horrible twist of fate, I ended up at the same university he attended. He was a senior, and during his semester breaks, he would pressure me into things I never wanted.
He kept a distance but would drop by now and then just to mess with my head. This twisted cycle lasted a whole year. Eventually, I found out he was cheating on me with his ex. I was heartbroken-I had loved him with everything I had. He threw it all away, telling me our parents wouldn’t accept us because we were related. It took months of agony, but somehow, I managed to pick myself up and move on.
Then, in 2024, I found out about a guy who had apparently been admiring me from afar since 2022. He’d been sending me friend requests that I ignored because I was blindly loyal to that toxic relationship. This new guy had moved to the UK for his master’s but was so smitten he even approached my uncle and aunt, asking for their help to connect with me. His intention? To marry me. We started talking, and despite the distance, he made every effort to be there for me. I eventually fell for him, completely.
But the moment I opened up to him about my past, hoping he’d understand and accept me, everything shattered. He couldn’t handle my story, especially the part where I was forced. Despite having his own share of past girlfriends, he was horrified by my experience. His words haunt me:
“I never thought anything bad about you and never will. But what happened to you… it’s unbearable for me to imagine. It’ll eat at me for the rest of my life if we’re together, and I know it. Especially because he’s a relative-yes, I knew that part, but not about the force until you told me. It’ll haunt me forever. I know exactly who he is and whose son he is, and seeing his family will drive me mad. Try to see it from my side, please.
It’s tearing me apart.” He even admitted, “When I hear ‘Nepal’ now, I feel anger and disgust. And just hearing ‘forced’ turns me off completely.” I’m here sharing this because it feels like every relationship I try to build crumbles, no matter how much I pour my heart into it. I love this man deeply, and I don’t want to lose him. I’m so lost and don’t know where to turn.
Any advice or thoughts would mean the world to me. Thank you for reading.