I am a married woman (2 years) with a decent government job. It was a love marriage. My husband is a sweetheart who loves me. He celebrates my success. However, his personality changes at night as he is a functional alcoholic who drinks whiskey daily. He is financially weaker than me. He has anger issues and childhood trauma. He turns verbally abusive after drinking, although he has never been physically abusive with me.
However, he has a history of being physically and verbally abusive with his ex-girlfriends. After many fights, I told him that I would never have kids with him because of the family environment. His father had been abusive with his first wife. His father is doing fine with his second wife after the first wife committed suicide. The same is the case with my husband’s grandfather, who lost his first wife and then settled with a second wife.
Recently, my husband has begun joking about having a new girlfriend. He casually asks me if he could date another woman better than me. He told me he knows a girl who claims to love him and will take care of him financially and emotionally. She knows about our troubled marriage. He tells me since I was not treating him right, he deserves to know if I am planning to leave him.
He is hurt too by our fights and was seeking help from me. I can see that he is emotionally exhausted with me. He is seeking love from others. I love him and always make him my priority. However, he doesn’t understand me. I tried my best to take care of him and his family. I care about his likes and dislikes. But he is a narcissist who never acknowledges my efforts. Initially, I thought he was joking about other girls, but now I feel he talks to other girls on Instagram.
I found out he has done many video chats with this one girl. He has not met her in person yet. So he is only emotionally cheating on me. He wants to let me know that he is seeking better options before taking any action. I am planning to convince him to marry this other girl so that we will be mutually divorced peacefully. He’ll marry her and later abuse her (I am sure about that). He will later regret losing me (doesn’t matter).
That other girl will pay the price of being a home wrecker. Even if things work out for them, I’ll be happy to get out of this mess peacefully. I am planning to invest my time in creating a beautiful life for myself.
Question: Am I WRONG to convince him to marry the other girl so that I can have a guilt free divorce?
Option 1: Yes, you are wrong to manipulate him
Option 2: No, you are right as he is emotionally cheating
Option 3: Work on this marriage