I fell in love with my college mate my best friend’s relative. We were happy, planning to marry. Then his family laid down their rules lamba sa ghunghat, no choice but saree, no social media, no WhatsApp status, no visiting my home frequently, no job, conceive within a year, can’t go out alone. I tried to adjust, but nothing was enough. My boyfriend changed yelling, misbehaving, blaming me.
you were ready to marry me in the beginning, and now you can’t even follow our family rules? ese kaise shaadi karenge fir? dekh, thoda to adjust karna padega. His family humiliated mine. His father refused to visit my home, saying “ladki ke parents ko jhukna padta hai.” when they finally came, his mother told my mother: “dekho bhaвні, jab bhi hamare ghar aao, saree pehnkar aaνa.”
His mother dictated my future “rules ka dhyan rakhna.” My parents refused. Drama followed. He became worse manipulative, controlling, emotionally abusive. I stepped back, but deep down, I still hoped we’d make it. Then one day, I saw his profile picture a pre wedding shoot. I shattered. He claimed his family forced him and promised me that we’d still be together.
On my birthday, he put sindoor in my maang swearing, “now you’re my only wife in every birth.” We planned to elope. I still agreed, but I mentioned that we should first go for a court marriage and then shift somewhere. He refused. I said, “Let’s go to the temple, get married there, and after some days, we’ll elope and apply for a court marriage.” He refused again. My gut told me something was off. And then, the final blow he got married.
I was dead inside. He kept me in his life, hiding his phone, lying, gaslighting me. “you’re the cheater,” “you left me last year,” “can’t you take your self respect aside for me?” “i’ll never let you go, tu jaake dikhaa bc.” Just six days after his wedding, I saw his Instagram story him and his wife, smiling, standing close. He denied it, twisted my reality. I fought back. He kept playing games, shifting blame. I got panic attacks, lost my job, lost myself.
My health collapsed mental breakdowns, eye twitching, weight loss, insomnia. I was drowning. I even attempted suicide. I left, But he wouldn’t. He threatened: “if you say yes to someone else, I’ll create a scene, leak photos, show that man, ruin you.” he swore he’d kill that guy or me for this marriage. If I didn’t die or confront everyone, he’d never let me go. I know it sounds weird, but it’s the truth.
I lost everything peace, health, career, hope. Even sleeping pills don’t work anymore. How can a man destroy a woman like this and still blame her? How is this not a crime? I don’t know what to do. I’m strong. But right now, I feel weak.
Question: What would you do if you were in my place?
Option 1: Try to fix things
Option 2: Expose him publicly
Option 3: Stay silent and suffer
Option 4: What else?