I’m a 26 years old woman, and my boyfriend, 27, and I have been dating for nine months. We met in college and were friends before deciding to date. As our relationship grew serious, we fell in love and shared intimate moments. We come from the same caste, and my parents are now searching for a potential groom for me; they want me to settle down now. I told my mother about my relationship, and while she has no issues with us, she wants to talk to him first.
I informed my boyfriend about my mother’s concerns, and she would agree to our marriage if he had a stable job. However, my boyfriend is reluctant to take a private job, as his dream is to secure a government job. He doesn’t want to sacrifice his dreams for me. I suggested he take a private job for a few months while I provide for us, but he refused, saying he won’t take any private job at all. He wants me to wait for him until he gets a government job, but my mother is unwilling to wait.
This has led to numerous arguments between us. Eventually, I told him I wanted to break up, but he still calls me. I come from an upper middle class family, and while he has an unstable financial situation at home, I never had any issues with his financial status. When we were dating, we planned our future together, but now everything has changed. I told him my parents are unwilling to wait until he discusses our relationship with his parents, asking how they can wait without any commitment.
I suggested he talk to his parents and get engaged, so they would wait until he’s settled. However, he said he can’t discuss us with his parents right now, fearing they will question whether he wants to study or get married. Yesterday, he gave me false hope by saying he would talk to his parents about us, but today he claimed he couldn’t due to tension at home. I’m heartbroken and finding it hard to move on. What hurt me the most was when he said that if I find a better man, I should marry him.
This statement broke me, as I believe if a man truly loves you, he would never say something like that. I cried for hours over this, and now I’m unsure whether to wait for him without any commitment or to move on.