Hi. I’m a 27 years old female working in a reputable organization where I met this person who was incredibly sweet and caring towards me. We became best friends like a Tom and Jerry kind of friendship. No one except me would dare to raise their voice against him, and he never tolerated that from anyone else. But when I got mad or scolded him, he would just sit there quietly, taking it. We used to roast each other, and at first, I was thrilled to have such a fun phase in my life.
Of course, I fell for him first and confessed my feelings. He was going through a breakup at the time, so he needed space, but after a year, he accepted my proposal. Things seemed good for a while, but then he started ignoring me and taking me for granted. He stopped giving me any attention. I would wait the whole day just to talk to him, but he never messaged or replied. I told him countless times how I felt, but he treated me like absolute trash and constantly disappointed me.
His excuse? He was “too busy with work.” Seriously? How long am I supposed to wait? No man is ever too busy for the woman he supposedly cares about. Yet, he had all the time in the world for others. He knew perfectly well that I wouldn’t leave him. In fact, he even had the audacity to say to my face, “Where will you go? You’re stuck with me.” That’s when it hit me he didn’t love me, he just loved the attention I gave him.
Finally, I made up my mind to let go of my feelings and break up with him. We hadn’t spoken like lovers for four months anyway. He treated me just like any other colleague. So, after those four months, I told him I wanted to break up. His reaction? Barely any. He just said, “Okay.” I couldn’t believe it. I asked him, “Is this really how you react? Do you not have a shred of feelings for me?” And he said he didn’t believe what I was saying he thought I was playing some kind of game.
But when I told him firmly that it was over, he suddenly promised he’d change. But I’ve learned my lesson. I don’t want to make the same mistake again, even though I still love him. Every time I see his face, I fall for him all over again, but I’d rather love him from a distance than dive back into a situation where I know I’ll end up heartbroken. Meanwhile, I’ve grown close to another colleague, who is the *greenest* flag I’ve ever seen. He’s like the man every woman dreams of.
After my breakup, we started spending more time together, and he recently told me that he likes me and wants to marry me. I like him too, but the problem is I see my ex at work every day. Every time I see him, I feel a wave of guilt. I don’t know what to do. I can’t even fully accept my feelings for this new guy. He’s given me some time to think about it, but now my ex is suddenly telling me that he’ll make me fall for him again.
I’m completely confused and overwhelmed with guilt. Please, I need advice! What should I do?