My life turned upside down in the past 12 months. I was married to a man who tortured me mentally every day. I faced constant disrespect because I come from a middle class family. Despite my father giving gold worth around 16 lakhs as dowry and providing all the household essentials like a TV, fridge, washing machine, and sofa, I was still taunted daily. His mother even blamed my father for not buying enough groceries.
Seriously! Why should my father be responsible for feeding them? I was only with him for three months. I was told straight to my face that I’m too short tempered for a girl with “nothing” in her background. I was blamed for being in pain during intercourse and for not sleeping with him within a month of marriage. It was an arranged marriage. I had never even kissed a guy before meeting him.
Every physical interaction was new to me, and I needed time to get to know him. I spoke to him about this before the wedding, and he promised, “I’ll wait until you’re ready.” Tired of fighting, I returned to my parents’ home and applied for divorce. I refused to live with a man who didn’t respect me. I said no to alimony because I didn’t want to prolong the divorce process. I wanted it to end quickly. But now, I regret that decision.
The case is almost over, and now his mother goes around spreading lies about me and my character. I grew up with strict parents, and I would rather die than do anything that would tarnish their reputation. Yet his mother won’t stop shaming me. She tells people that I refused to sleep with her son unless he gave me his assets. If I wanted assets that badly, I could just sell the dowry my father gave me and buy whatever I want.
Now I feel I should have asked for alimony to make him suffer, but at the same time, I don’t want to drag out the divorce process. I feel like a bad person for thinking about alimony now, but my life is in turmoil, and I feel like I’ve lost everything. Part of me believes dowry and alimony are essentially the same thing. I think I should just finalize the divorce and move on. But will that bring justice for everything my parents and I have gone through?