Hello, I am a 28 years old female. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 8 years. My boyfriend is from a Hindu family and I belong to a Sikh family. He is 2 years older than me. After graduation, my boyfriend went to Canada in December 2018, and I also went there in December 2018. After our studies there, we were both doing well in our lives, working good jobs.
My boyfriend got his Permanent Residency, whereas I was on a work permit when I told my parents about him in July 2022. The torture began since then. My parents have always loved me so much. I have always been a pampered child. My decision to marry someone from another religion was a big shock for them. They would threaten me that if I marry him, they would commit suicide. I took one month’s leave from work and came to India in December 2023 so that I could convince my family in person.
But they did not let me go back, thinking that I would marry my boyfriend if I returned. They hid my passport. I had to quit my job. My PR application was in process, but I had to cancel it because I quit my job. I have been trying to convince my family for 3 years now. But they are still adamant and do not want us to get married because of religious differences and society’s judgment.
However, my boyfriend is the best guy I have ever come across. Our relationship is very beautiful, filled with happiness. We want to spend our lives together. My parents have given me an ultimatum choose him or us. Although I can’t choose either of them, as I love them both equally. A few days ago, my mom called his dad and threatened him. She said there is no way we would marry our daughter to your son. “We will file a police case. We will get your son killed.
Tell him to stop contacting our daughter.” She said so much crap and disrespected his dad. Until now, my boyfriend stood strong by my side, but now his parents are forcing him to break up in order to avoid any bad consequences. They fear my parents might go to their home and create a scene, which will be bad for their reputation. But I know that none of this will happen if I marry him – because women say such things in anger.
My dad even insisted not to call his dad, saying, “Why should we bother him when our own daughter is not listening to us?” So even if I go back to Canada and marry him, my boyfriend is scared of the consequences and is suggesting I listen to my parents – although he has always been very loyal and has loved me immensely. I won’t be able to live my life happily with someone else because my boyfriend is just so perfect.
Also, I fear that if I choose my love, my parents might harm themselves or commit suicide. I myself have tried to commit suicide twice, but it did not melt my parents’ hearts. Please suggest what I should do.
Thank you.
Question: Who should I choose?
Option 1: Parents
Option 2: Boyfriend