Confession of Girl Sharing Her 5 Relationship Experiences

Guy 1: I dated a guy from 11th std. I was very loyal and blind in love until I was taken for granted. I was there for him during his hardest and most difficult phase, and after 5 years, my dad passed away because of cancer and this guy wasn’t there for me. It disheartened me, and I decided to end the relationship.

Guy 2: I got so desperate for love that I started talking to a guy who liked me, and I liked him back because he liked me. Things didn’t end well, so we decided to part ways.

Guy 3: I was lonely again, and then again I started dating a guy because he loved me. It was the kind of love I always wanted, and then he got possessive and abusive. In the end, he ended up cheating on me.

Guy 4: Some months later, my classmate, who was a good friend, started talking to me. We were doing fine, but the guy would act suspicious. However, he respected women a lot, and I thought he was good and wasn’t up to something behind my back until one day I discovered he was using me for a physical relationship because the one he was dating was not interested in being intimate.

Guy 5: I started talking to someone after some time someone who was caring, loving, and genuine. I was a good friend to him. His ex had cheated on him, and he felt comfortable with me and would share his problems. One day he proposed, and I didn’t have the courage to dishearten him, so I agreed. We dated until one day I realized I couldn’t love him the way he loved me.

After all this, I moved out of the country and became even more lonely. I started texting Guy 2 again he had told me he’d always wait for me in his life, and I decided nobody would love me like him. He told me he had dealt with depression for the past 2 years because I was not with him, and he ruined his life, desperate for my love. Over a period of 3 months, he tortured me so much.

There were days he made me beg him to love me. He would always talk about money and how my parents owning property would be his. He made me buy him expensive things and would get really angry if I denied buying something for him. Over the past few weeks, he called me a slut and whatnot. I still put up with it and would beg for forgiveness until he got more abusive, and I blocked him.

Now I regret my life because every time I got into a relationship, I would assume it to be my last and thought I would end up marrying them. In the end, it would always turn out to be a betrayal. My body count has reached 4, and I’m so guilty about it. Please give me your opinions. Am I a bad person, or is this just how life is? I’m scared that nobody is going to accept me or want to marry me.

Question: Am I a bad person? Should I feel guilty?

Option 1: If Yes, Why?

Option 2: If No, Why?