I’m a 27 years old woman, and right now, I feel completely stuck confused, torn, and overwhelmed, not knowing what’s truly right for me. I was in a relationship with my best friend for almost a year. But it was so much more than just a relationship. He’s my safe space, my confidant, the one who pulled me out of one of the darkest phases of my life. Being with him felt like home. When the pressure from my family to consider arranged marriage started to build, I told them about him.
I told them I wanted to marry him not because I had planned everything out, but because, in that moment, it felt like the only thing that made sense. But my parents were deeply unhappy. For almost a year now, they’ve been trying to explain why, in their view, this relationship and especially marriage would be a mistake for both of us. And over time, their words started to plant seeds of doubt in me.
I began questioning things I had never thought about before. Would I truly be able to adjust to his lifestyle, to his middle class background, to the way his family lives and thinks? Would I feel confident standing next to him in front of others, sharing my world with him? Would we really be a strong match long term? And somewhere along the way, amidst all this confusion and pressure, even my physical attraction toward him started to fade.
Not because I don’t love him but because I’ve been so emotionally torn, constantly battling between my heart and my head. But despite everything, he is still my best friend. I don’t even know how to live without him. The thought of losing him feels like losing a part of myself. And what scares me even more is the idea of seeing him with someone else. I couldn’t even handle seeing him talk about his ex from five years ago how am I supposed to bear the thought of him being in love with someone new?
At the same time, I’m 28. There’s this loud ticking clock, this pressure to start meeting people through arranged marriage. But I don’t want to just settle for something because of my age or societal timelines. What I truly want is peace. I want to stop feeling stuck. I want to be happy and I want him to be happy too. I want us both to live without regrets, whatever paths we choose. But right now, I feel like I’m standing at a crossroads, completely lost and heartbroken, and I don’t know which way to go.
Question: Should I venture into the arranged marriage setup in this state of mind, or fight harder for my ex?
Option 1: Go for Arranged Marriage
Option 2: Go back to your ex and fight stronger