My Boyfriend Cheated Me and Abuses Me Daily

When we first met, he was very kind, sweet, and such a caring person. He pursued me to be in a relationship, making me believe I was something special to him, and I treated him like no one else could. As time went by, whenever things couldn’t or didn’t go his way, he used to shout and make me feel bad about not being able to make things right for him. He became more and more toxic and used to threaten me, shout at me so much.

I tried distancing myself from him, but he used to be sweet again, making me confused and lost again and again to the point where I couldn’t make any decisions. I got stuck thinking he already took my virginity. He always wanted to be physical every time we met. Whenever I denied, he used to get angry and make me say okay. When he knew I cheated on him (wasn’t sexual), he went really mad, which I can understand.

I admitted I didn’t do the right thing and asked for his forgiveness and one last chance, promising to be worth his loyalty. I had already given him my virginity before all this. He also showed like he wanted me and that he would forgive me and love me again. I was really grateful that he gave me a chance to be a better person with a different perspective. I did everything he asked for. He wanted to be physical every time we met,

I started seeing the world with him from a and I agreed, thinking that could make him love me and would make it easier to forgive me, even though I knew the conversation afterward was only going to be about that time. He used to ignore me a lot, not talking to me for hours, only talking to me at night and only about being physical or wanting to have dirty conversations.

I didn’t give up, but months passed and he only turned more evil. He started disrespecting me in every way he could. He started cursing at me, showing up at my work for not picking up his calls, and making a scene. I cried to him, begged him not to disrespect me at least, but nothing changed. He was only kind for a day. He was more fierce the next day. I started getting shouted at on a daily basis for small things like not picking up calls or not replying to his texts faster, not wanting to talk dirty, or not understanding something even though I tried my best, doing everything he asked for. This went on for months. I knew I was losing my hope, myself, but I didn’t give up.

I helped him in every way I could. I tried making him happy in every way. I was earning, he was not, so I took him on dates, bought him gifts, and gave him money when he needed it. I was there for him when he needed someone to lean on. I motivated him, made sure he ate well, and wasn’t overthinking. But he was always rude and very disrespectful towards me. He used to be frustrated and angry at everything about me.

He questioned my character every day when I was a little late to reply, linking me with my coworkers. He always questioned my character every time a male tried being close to me. I had a male friend I didn’t know liked me. I shared everything with him because all this was so heavy for me the guilt of cheating and the way I was draining every day, crying every day because of his behavior. I could have understood if it was for a time, but it went on for months and was so intense that he didn’t care if I was hurt physically in arguments.

Everyone that knew about my situation was telling me to leave him. I had already done what I could, and they told me that’s just how he was going to be. They tried helping me in every way they could. Some days I used to cry with my female friend, other times with my male friend, or just by myself. That’s when my male friend confessed to me. I rejected him in a very polite manner, and he understood. He said, “I’m not going to force you, I’m not confessing because I want you to be with me or anything like that.

I just wanted you to know that I like you. You are not a bad person. You can be loved the way you are. So fight him, leave him if it hurts so much. You don’t have to walk on eggshells every day just to be lusted over and used.” I gathered up my courage and decided to break up with him. When I told him I was breaking up, he got mad and said I couldn’t leave him, that I am his property for a lifetime. He tried emotionally manipulating me.

He asked for forgiveness one second and was rude, mad, and shouting the next. This time, I was sure about my decision, and I stood by it. He threatened me, saying he would tell my parents everything, leak my videos and photos, or beat me. But I was not going back. He showed up at my work, forced me to take leave, and talked about how I had promised not to leave him at any cost. He said I made him happy, I was good to him, and that we had a future together.

So I asked him why he treated me so badly when I was good to him. He again blamed me for making his mental health worse, saying that was just a reaction to my past actions. I said we can’t be together. I was not valued, taken for granted, disrespected, and questioned about everything I did for him when all the effort a relationship takes was coming from me. I was losing myself loving him, being there for him.

I never ignored him when he was low, down because of his family issues, or failures. I gave my energy to help him stand up, not lose hope, and keep trying. But at the end of the day, I was humiliated for not doing enough or being good enough for him. I tried explaining very politely that we are not going to be okay if we continue, but all he did was blame me for everything. I told him how I was feeling, how drained I was because of him, how bad my mental health was, and how it was impacting my physical health.

I was losing so much weight. I was zoning out. My eyes became weaker. I needed specs and medication because of constantly crying. I couldn’t face anyone. I was anxious around people. I couldn’t be socially active or participate in any family gatherings. I was losing myself or maybe I already had. He said he would make me feel better and make me believe we would have a happy life together, so I gave him some time. But all that time, he spent forcing me to talk to him more sweetly or treat him better so that he could be sweet to me too.

One day, I cried so badly my face and eyes were all swollen but I got up and went for a walk. I met my male friend. He saw me, knew I cried, and knew the reason. He just comforted me and said sorry on everyone’s behalf. He contacted my boyfriend that day. They talked for hours and got into a big fight, but my boyfriend was not ready to leave me. He called me, threatening to be more evil and bad.

Arguments went on. I tried blocking him, but he had saved my family members’ numbers when he took my phone. He called my mother, so I unblocked him out of fear. He threatened me that he would commit suicide, writing my name on the note. He told me he would destroy me and my family if I didn’t go back to him even after he said he would change and be good to me.

And right now, I am not talking to anyone except for my sister.

Question: What should I do?

Option 1: Should I be brave and leave him?

Option 2: Or should I stay?