There’s one man (my cousin) who’s loved me since I was a child, like 12 or 13 years old (he must be a pedophile). He was so possessive whoever talked to me, he’d have a problem like I was his. I was good to him because he’s like a brother to me (cousin), but that doesn’t mean I’m in love with him. He’s been good to us as well, but only because he’s in love with me (one-sided). He approached my family to ask if they were okay with his proposal.
My family said that if we both were okay, they had no objection. I was against this proposal, but no one listened to me. Sometimes, he tried to touch me inappropriately. (This was my childhood trauma.) Years went by, but we still had to deal with the same old problem. After several rejections, he still rejected my rejection and kept coming after me. I’ve been mentally tortured since childhood.
He even threatened me, saying if I didn’t marry him, he’d kill me, my family, and himself. I met one guy in college we were in the same batch. First, we were friends, then best friends, and later we were in a relationship. I told him all my problems, and still, he stayed with me. After dating for 4 years, we’ve been in a long distance relationship for 3 years now because he got a government job, and I did too. We both were busy with our own lives, but we still loved each other.
It felt like we were the best couple ever. After 7 years of dating, a disaster happened in my love life. That man (the same one who’s loved me since childhood he’s well settled, has a house, car, everything) came again with a marriage proposal. My family accepted him because of his threats, but I didn’t agree. They only cared about their reputation what society would say. Why don’t they care about me? Why always society?? Were we born for society? I hate this life. Sometimes, I even think of ending my life or running away from home.
Now they’ve forcefully married me to this man without my consent. They took me to his home. But I’m still in touch with my lover. He still loves me, and I still love him. Is it still called cheating? One night, we had a huge fight he tried to have sex with me without my consent. I was ready for a divorce, but they made one condition: if I leave him, they will break my leg or hand they just want to ruin my life. All they cared about was society and themselves.
They didn’t even think about me for a second. All of my family is against me, so sometimes I even think of ending my life. But then I think if I lose my life, they (the guy’s family) won’t be affected, but my family will. That’s the only thing stopping me from ending it. What should I do now? Should I leave everything my family, career and run away with my boyfriend? Or stay with this man, for whom I have no feelings?
Question: What should I do now??
Option 1: Should I leave everything and marry my boyfriend?
Option 2: Stay with this man and live a pathetic life?
Option 3: Let them break my leg and live a single life?