I met my current boyfriend in college, and we’ve been together for over 2 years. I believed he was “the one” and have relied on him for companionship, as I don’t have many friends. I have high expectations of him, and whenever I feel he’s not putting in enough effort whether because he’s busy or has other commitments. l become emotional, and we end up fighting. I don’t want to be an emotional burden, so I’ve often asked him if he wants to stay with me despite my insecurities.
He always says he loves me, can handle the fights, and envisions a future with me. We’re currently in a long-distance relationship but meet frequently and talk every day. Despite our efforts, I recently discovered that during a bad fight, he texted a random girl and called her on Instagram. I found this out accidentally, and the texts were definitely flirtatious. He even said he was happy talking to her.
I’m devastated. I’ve been extremely loyal and have never even considered cheating. He claims this was a one time incident, that he was very drunk and didn’t know what he was doing, and is blaming the girl. While he has never previously shown any signs of being unfaithful, his actions have shattered my trust. I told him we’re done because I can’t tolerate any form of cheating. He has apologized, unfollowed the girl, and wants to reconcile, calling me every day to convince me to reconsider.
My initial instinct is to break up, but I’m deeply in love with him and have never been emotionally attached to anyone else this way. Does this count as “proper” cheating? I’m struggling to make sense of everything and need perspective on whether to forgive him or end the relationship.