Hi all, I have been married for 5 years. It was an arranged marriage. Now, I have a baby who is 1 year and 9 months old. Before this, I was working in the IT sector. Mine was a very complicated pregnancy. I was hospitalized for almost 50 days until my baby was born. That phase was so fearful for me. I struggled a lot. And after my baby’s birth, the dirty talks and humiliation from my mother-in-law threw me into postpartum depression.
Since I was admitted to the hospital too early, my maternity leave ended when my baby was just 4.5 months old. The situation I was in at that time made me feel extremely frustrated, and I couldn’t tolerate any more pressure from work life. I badly needed a break. Also, I didn’t get any suitable project, so I decided to quit my job and started to enjoy my motherhood.
Once my baby was 9 months old, I came back to my in-laws’ place. Now that she is over 1.5 years old, I feel like I want to get back to work because I need a comfortable life. My husband is a very calculative person who keeps track of every expense he makes. Besides, my mother-in-law hates it when my husband gets me anything.
Even when I ask my husband for vegetables, she says that she used to cook with whatever was available at home and didn’t make unnecessary expenses for her son. I am totally stressed out hearing about these expenses all the time. I literally can’t live this kind of life. If I have to cook something, I want it to be perfect with all the ingredients. I don’t like making adjustments with basic things.
Financially, my husband is stable. He is a government employee. My father-in-law holds a huge piece of land in his native place. But they all have this calculative mindset, which is making my life miserable. As I want to get back to my profession, I am unable to prepare for interviews because I need to take care of my baby alone. Even if I get a job, I don’t know if my mother-in-law will take care of my baby. My parents are supportive, but I can’t rely on them completely.
So if I get a work from home option, I think I can keep a maid and somehow manage both work and baby. Many times, I have tried going to my mom’s place to prepare for interviews. I study for 15 days, feel confident, but once I come back, I can’t continue my studies and forget everything. This has been happening for the past 6 months. My mother-in-law also started fighting with my husband whenever I go to my mom’s place to study.
She says she can’t handle the household chores alone if I’m not around. What should I do in this situation? I feel so helpless. It feels like I have everything, but I don’t have anything. I want to give my baby a comfortable life, and that is only possible if I work. I have only one life, and I want to live it to the fullest.
Question:
How can I study peacefully and get back to work?
Option 1: Go to my mom’s place, study, and get a job
Option 2: Adjust and continue
I personally believe that, have a job would bring a confidence that nothing else would bring so I really respect your efforts at hard times like this…. You know where you could prepare the best and get the job you want and then take care of the family… Maybe going to mom’s place is the best options in near future, maybe continuing would take up more time….. Think and decide, if you wanna talk more reach out to me…. We will have a chat Simran!