I am Single, attractive, working. Growing up, I stayed away from distractions, focused on studies and building my career. Had a few short relationships and dating phases, but nothing serious. At 28, my parents started getting impatient and wanted me to get settled. I agreed to a match at 29 and had my first serious relationship. The grand destination wedding planning went on for a year when the guy’s family reality started unveiling. They weren’t financially stable not even 10% of what they initially projected.
We were fine with that, but what’s worse was their greed and inhumanity. Seeing that my dad had a lot to give for his daughter and was suffering from cancer, the vultures kept expecting more and more from him. My dad was willing to do everything as his “responsibility” before leaving the world. It didn’t sit right with me, and I called off the wedding two weeks before the date. I couldn’t have spent my life with a spineless guy and a greedy family like that. My dad passed away after some time. I was at the rock bottom of my life.
At this point, an office colleague 11 years older than me (married, with one kid) came into the picture. He listened to me. Held space for me. Comforted me. “As a friend,” of course. You guessed it the closeness kept increasing. I lost my virginity to this person at 31. I was stupid enough to fall into it, but my brain knew that it was a weak moment, and I couldn’t let myself fall deeper into this swamp or punish myself by sinking in regret. He treats me really, really, really well. Consistently. For the past 1.5 years, his love for me has kept growing beyond imagination.
He can go to any extent to do anything for me. Apart from my parents, I have never felt so loved by anyone sometimes even more than my parents. He loves me no matter what I do, what I say, how many tantrums I throw, fight, abuse, or push him away. He can never see me in pain. He can spend hours listening to me if I want to talk or vent or fight, without ever expecting anything in return. He can come and meet me at any hour, at any place in the *world*, if I need him. He keeps me above his job, his family, himself which I am not proud of.
I want to move away from him, as he already has a family. Sometimes I see his presence in my life as a blessing to hold me at my weak moment and show me what love feels like. Sometimes I see it as him getting an opportunity to be close to me. He says he will be fine with whatever I want if I want us to come together (he will keep supporting his family), or keep minimal contact, or no contact whatever I want, to whichever extent. To test all this, I asked him to share everything about us with his wife he did.
I have taken infinite tests, he never fails to prove that he loves me more than anything or anyone, and he can do anything for my happiness/satisfaction. But I don’t want to ruin his family beyond what I have already done. I want to move on from him and start my own family life. He says that he loved me before he met me (I know, sounds like BS), and we were destined to meet some past life soul connection or pending *hisaab*. He will be here to listen to me, love me, or do whatever I want/need for this entire life.
He will stay away if that’s what I want. He will do anything I want, without ever expecting anything in return. Among everything else, I know this is not a lie. He can and will do anything for me if I want him to. How do I move away from such a love?
Question: What should I do?
Option 1: It’s hard to find this kind of love. Stay.
Option 2: Cherish it and move on.
Option 3: BS crap. He used you, now move on.