In February 2024, I met a man on a matrimonial site. Within just 15 days, we were certain about each other and told our parents, who were ecstatic. By March 2024, we were already engaged after only two months. We had an amazing time dating and grew physically close. Everything seemed perfect until the cracks started to show. I soon realized he was struggling with depression, but instead of seeking help, he became two faced. In front of others, he treated me like a queen, but behind closed doors, I was nothing.
Before the engagement, I discovered he’d been in multiple physical relationships and was still in contact with several of these women. When I confronted him, he cried, begging me not to leave, saying, “It’s only you now, I swear.” Foolishly, I believed him, convincing myself that love and relationships come with their own share of struggles. After all, everyone has a past, right? But things took a darker turn. Just a week before our engagement, I found messages from a girl talking about marriage with him.
They had stayed in touch throughout our entire relationship. I was shattered, but when I broke down in front of him, he once again pleaded and cried, telling me he loved me and would change. Out of respect for my family’s joy and excitement, I swallowed my pain and went ahead with the engagement. I told myself, everyone deserves a second chance. The engagement happened, and immediately after, his attitude changed. He stopped calling, stopped texting, always with excuses like, “I thought you were busy with your family,” or, “I thought you were asleep.”
Meanwhile, he’d be out late with friends, making me feel like an afterthought. This went on for two miserable months. To make things worse, he began criticizing my appearance. He said things like, “You’re too skinny; you need to gain weight,” or, “You have dark circles get them treated,” and even, “You have a gummy smile, get aligners.” Every day, he chipped away at my self esteem, making me feel inferior and worthless. He even said, “You’re short, so wear 3 inch heels when you’re with me.”
I constantly questioned where our relationship was headed. He never missed a chance to get physical when we met in person, but as soon as we were apart, it was the same old story no calls, no texts, just excuses. When I reached out to his brother, he accused me of being controlling. Meanwhile, his mother would berate me, claiming her son was never in the wrong, and it was always my fault. I kept all this from my parents until I couldn’t bear it anymore. I finally broke down and told them everything.
They were shocked, but when they spoke to him, he was nothing but sweet, talking about future plans and making my parents think I was overreacting. The gaslighting was relentless. He’d call me whenever I was out with friends or at work, telling me he couldn’t continue the relationship, then act as if nothing happened the next day. I lost 6 to 7 kgs from the stress in just two months. Finally, I mustered the courage to end it. I told myself I deserved better. But he played one last game. I suggested we restart and try to make things work, and for two days, everything seemed fine.
Then, on our second engagement anniversary, we had a two hour video call, and I thought things were finally back on track. But the very next day, he stood me up he was supposed to meet me at his hometown station, but instead, he went out with his friends. That was the final straw. That night, I felt sick both physically and emotionally. I had severe headaches and stomach pain from the stress. He called to apologize, but I could feel something was off.
The next morning, before I could even talk to my parents, his father called mine and *ended the relationship*, blaming me for being aggressive and claiming I was the reason it wasn’t working out. And that’s how it all ended without anyone knowing the hell I’ve been through. I had loved him with all my heart and embraced his family as my own, but none of it mattered in the end. Now, I’m left picking up the pieces, not knowing how to move on from this nightmare.