I am 29 years female and my friend is 29 years female. We had been close friends since school. We attended the same school, lived in the same society, and shared a similar friend circle. We spent great times together during both school and college, though we had some personality differences. She was undeniably prettier and slimmer than me. She cared a lot about what others thought of her, especially how she looked (almost paranoid about it), while I always told her to ignore other people’s opinions and just do what she liked. I was less concerned about what others said.
After college, I started preparing for UPSC, and she began preparing for bank exams. During that time, she also started dating a guy she met through me and my brother, and that’s when our bond began to weaken. She would lie to her family to meet him, pretending she was meeting me. She talked about him constantly, and soon, our conversations dwindled. As the distance between us grew, we met less and less, even though we lived in the same locality. In 2019, my family moved to a new neighborhood, and though we stayed in touch via calls, we met only once before the COVID lockdown and never after that.
She stopped calling and didn’t respond to my calls. During the lockdown, I lost a few relatives to COVID, and it was an incredibly stressful time. I needed a friend, but she wasn’t there. After the lockdown, she told me she got a job as a clerk at a bank. I was happy for her, but also upset with myself for not clearing my exams. By then, I had attempted the UPSC three times, clearing the prelims but not the mains. After that, she never called or texted again. In 2021, my father was diagnosed with a brain tumor and underwent surgery, chemo, and radiation.
It was a harrowing 2.5 to 3 years for my family and me. Despite knowing everything I was going through, she never called, never texted. Last summer, while my dad was still in the hospital, she texted me to tell me she was getting engaged to that guy. I already knew, but I acted surprised and congratulated her. She only texted me instead of calling or inviting me. Five days before her engagement, my dad passed away. She didn’t come to the funeral. Her brother came, and her fiancé (my brother’s best friend) stayed with us for 13 days, but she didn’t show up. She kept texting that she would come and that I shouldn’t be upset with her, but she never did.
Two months before her wedding, she called to apologize for not coming and tried to reconcile. I thought of letting go of the past and being friends again. During that time, she asked for all sorts of advice for her wedding shopping clothes, accessories, everything. She got so caught up that she didn’t even wish me on my birthday, but instead called me to vent about what people were saying about her and her fiancé. I stayed calm and tried to console her.
During that conversation, I found out that my name had been dragged into a rumor, with people accusing me of badmouthing her and her fiancé to someone I didn’t even like. I told her to leave me out of it, as I had nothing to do with it. Three days before her wedding, she insisted I attend her sangeet. I went reluctantly, given the weird conversation we had just had. When I arrived, she was cold and barely interacted with me, focusing only on how she looked and the cameras. She never even apologized for my dad’s death.
I took the hint and decided not to attend the wedding, but then she insisted I accompany her to the salon and then to the venue. I told her to text me the salon address, and I’d go with her, but the next day, she didn’t call or share the location. Naturally, I didn’t go. My brother convinced me to attend the wedding out of respect for the groom, who was like a brother to me. I went, but the same drama unfolded. She didn’t answer my calls when I tried to find out where she was. Eventually, I found her in a room with the same person who had badmouthed her and used my name in the rumors.
I couldn’t stand being around them. Still, I wished her well and decided to leave. As I left, she complained that I hadn’t accompanied her to the salon, blaming me despite her not telling me where to go. I explained that she hadn’t given me the address, to which she replied, “It’s my wedding, why should I call you? You should just come.” I was stunned. Later, as we were escorting her to the main hall for her entry, she acted friendly with the very person who had spread rumors about her. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I quietly left. I waited until my brother was free and then left the wedding.
The next day, she had the audacity to ask me to send her pictures from the wedding. When I did, she accused me of blocking her from my Instagram stories (even though she had blocked me from hers for years). I told her I hadn’t blocked her, and she replied, “Hmm.” That was the last time we spoke. She lives nearby now, but she’s never called or visited me or my mom. Every day, I wonder what went wrong. Who was really at fault? Was it me, or was it her arrogance? I miss her, but I’m also glad that someone so toxic is no longer a part of my life.