At the start of 2023, I was at a low point in life, dealing with the pain of a breakup. My ex had cheated on me, and I was struggling to heal. Around that time, a friend from my hometown moved to Pune, and we began talking regularly. Slowly, she helped me cope with the pain from my past relationship, and I started to see her as my soulmate. I’ve always believed in old school love, and spending time with her became the best part of my day. After work, I’d visit her at her PG, and we’d spend hours together.
Late at night, we’d go for walks, cycle, or catch a movie. For six or seven months, everything felt perfect. We even went on a trip to Udaipur, which, to this day, remains one of my fondest memories with her. As time passed, we grew closer and understood each other better, but one issue remained she didn’t get along with my engineering friends. All of them worked in Pune and lived near my flat. They had been my best friends for nine years, but they smoked weed and cigarettes, which she absolutely despised.
I used to smoke with them, especially during the tough period following my breakup. Smoking became a crutch for me, but when she entered my life, she made it clear she couldn’t stand it. I was scared to tell her that I still smoked occasionally when she wasn’t around, but I tried to cut back from a pack a day to just three or four cigarettes. I never told her that I needed her support to quit completely, fearing it might put a strain on our relationship. I thought I could manage it alone.
Eventually, we decided to move in together, mainly because I believed that being with her would help me quit smoking faster. But as time went on, she began to suspect that I still smoked. A few times, she caught me, and despite my efforts to explain that quitting was a gradual process, she couldn’t accept it. She couldn’t understand why I couldn’t just stop. Eventually, she decided to end the relationship. Now, I’ve landed a new job and will be moving to Bangalore soon. But even though it’s been five months since the breakup, I still cry every day, haunted by the memories we made together.
I did everything I could to win her back wrote her love letters, stood outside her flat late at night, took her to a temple, and even had my relatives call her to ask for forgiveness. I had already introduced her to my family, and they were ready to welcome her. But nothing worked. Looking back, I know I made a mistake. I should’ve been honest with her from the start about my struggle with smoking and asked for her support. But I was so afraid of losing her that I kept it a secret, and in the end, that secret cost me everything.
Even now, I love her deeply and wish we could be together, even though she didn’t get along with my friends. My friends, on the other hand, never liked her and believe I should move on. They think she wasn’t supportive, especially compared to their own partners, who stood by them during tough times. So here I am, stuck in this limbo, wondering if I should keep trying to win her back or finally move on. Deep down, I know I was wrong, and maybe that’s why I’m still holding onto her memory, unable to let go. What do you all think?
Should I keep trying, or is it time to let her go?