After a love marriage, my husband and I were very happy, especially before and during my pregnancy. However, after I gave birth to our son, things changed. As a new mother, I struggled with many challenges, including not being able to breastfeed, which made me feel inadequate. My husband initially cared for me, but as time passed, I felt unsupported, especially when others, including him, made me feel like I wasn’t a good mother. As I dealt with postpartum depression, my husband started emotionally distancing himself.
He spent less time with me and began chatting with other women, complimenting them and prioritizing them over me. When I confronted him, he made excuses about stress and finances but never changed his behavior. Out of desperation, I created a fake account and started talking to him as a stranger. To my surprise, he was charming, flirtatious, and full of passion but only for this fake identity, not for me. He even complained about me to this “unknown” woman, saying he no longer found me attractive and lacked interest in intimacy with me.
We only spent two days a week together due to my staying at my mother’s place after marriage. Despite this, he showed little interest in intimacy, leaving me feeling rejected and unwanted. To cope, I focused on my career and moved to Pune to prepare for government job exams, which gave me some relief from my depression. However, after returning home, the same problems resurfaced no emotional connection, no desire from his side.
Eventually, he admitted he liked another woman, a married one, and even expressed his desire to sleep with her if I gave permission. Feeling hurt and jealous, I told him to do whatever he wanted but to be transparent with me. However, I know deep down that this situation isn’t sustainable, and once again, I feel lost, depressed, and unable to focus on my life. One thing I want to add is that even I am not an ideal wife never up to his expectations, like cooking but I believe not everyone is a chef.
The only thing I can do is try, and from my side, I am trying my best but struggling to prioritize career or husband.
Question: Should I do the same thing he is doing, or should I give some time to make things better?
Option 1: Stop expecting
Option 2: Prioritize him instead of career