I’m a 24 years old woman, and I met a 30 years old man at the gym. He works for a top company. Initially, we were just friends, but over time, our bond turned into a relationship. I was completely honest with him and shared everything about my past. At first, things were good between us, but when I brought up the topic of marriage, he told me he had no intention of getting married. I assumed he just needed more time, so I stayed with him. A few months later, he overheard a call with my mother, where she was urging me to consider marriage.
When I brought up the topic again, it led to a fight. That’s when he said something that left me shattered, he told me that if I accepted that I was a slut, he would marry me because, in his words, my character was like that of a whore. I was too shocked to react, yet I still chose to stay with him. Later, during my birthday month, he took me on a staycation and did a lot to make me happy. That night, however, he told me that he only did it because he knew no one else would do such things for me after I got married. His words deeply hurt me, and at the same time, I was feeling pressured by my family to settle down.
One day, my mother introduced me to another guy and asked me to talk to him. When I told my ex about this, he seemed happy and encouraged me to marry the other guy. But I had no interest in that because I was still in love with him. Despite everything, I tried to act normal, but things kept getting worse, and our fights became more frequent. Eventually, one day, he told me he was leaving for his hometown and would stop talking to me afterward. I assumed he didn’t want his parents to find out about us, so I believed him. But after he left, he never answered my calls or texts.
Three months later, I received a message from a woman asking about our relationship. I soon realized she was his ex. However, she told me they had actually been in a relationship for four years and gave me the dates which overlapped with my time with him. That’s when I understood that he was likely with both of us and had left her when he met me. She also told me they had gotten back together. To confirm everything, I called him, and he agreed to meet. When I confronted him, he didn’t give me a clear answer.
Meanwhile, she kept calling him, and I noticed that he was using pet names for her. He was also sharing his screen with her, pretending to be in a meeting, and she even called me to check if I was with him. That day, I remember clearly he was trying to run away from me. After that, I tried reaching out, but he ignored me. A few days later, he finally called me but added her to the call as well, claiming they were just friends. He then blamed me for making him a “psycho” and said he was taking medication because of me.
When I asked why he pursued a relationship with me if he never intended to commit, he turned it around on me, saying, “Why did you sleep with me if you knew I wouldn’t commit?” I asked him to remove her from the call so we could talk privately, but instead, he said he would include his parents. He then called out their names, and they immediately responded, making me realize they had been listening to our conversation the whole time. I was completely taken aback.
Since then, I have tried reaching out, but he refuses to respond. It has been five months, yet I still can’t move on. Despite everything, I am even willing to forget the past and accept him again. What should I do?