I’m 26(M), and I never had a relationship during my school days. But in college, I became close friends with a classmate, now 26(F). At that time, she was in a relationship, but she would flirt with me and give me mixed signals. A few months later, she broke up with her boyfriend, and I became her emotional and mental support. After a while, we started group studies, but things took a different turn when we began to touch, kiss, cuddle, and get physically close. Our connection was fueled by lust, and we found ourselves repeating this behavior multiple times.
Then, her ex-boyfriend re-entered the picture, and a small disagreement led to a bigger fight. We stopped talking, and she reconciled with her ex. A couple of years later, after another breakup, she came back to me, and the cycle repeated. But this time, we both knew there were no real feelings involved, just lust. Near the end of college, we had another fight, and with the arrival of COVID, we drifted apart. Now, she’s in a serious relationship with a new guy and planning to marry him. I’m okay with it, but what bothers me is that throughout this whole journey, she was the one who initiated everything.
We’ve become strangers now, and even when we cross paths, we barely acknowledge each other. I can’t help but feel a little guilty. Did I use her for lust? Or did she use me for the same? I’m still confused. I know it may not seem like a huge confession, but I’d really appreciate hearing other perspectives on this.