Confession of North Indian Girl to her boyfriend

We’ve been in a relationship for the past five years, and it felt like I was already married to him. I used to stay with his family in his house whenever I had holidays or a chance to meet him. We were all so close, and everything seemed smooth and clear from both sides. His family even started planning our wedding.

Last year, from August to December, I had to complete an internship for my graduation. My life became hectic, but I still tried to communicate with him and give him as much time as possible, though not as much as before. In December 2023, we had some arguments, and on the day of our anniversary, I found out about another girl, thanks to his sister, who was concerned about our relationship. She told me that she had caught him video calling this girl several times. When I confronted him, he claimed it was all a lie. I believed him. But when I asked him to unfollow her on Instagram because it made me uncomfortable, he refused. He explained that she was the sister of a close friend of his, almost like a big brother, whom he had known for years since she was little.

Despite my doubts, I continued our relationship. However, I couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling about that girl. So, one day in May, I checked his phone and found an unsaved number in his WhatsApp call logs. When I checked the number on Truecaller, it turned out to be hers. I was heartbroken when I saw the call logs. They had been calling each other every single day, even at 12 AM, 3 AM, and 6 AM, for hours. He explained that she was calling about issues related to her brother, but what about the video calls? I contacted her and asked several questions, but their answers didn’t match up.

Even after all this, he managed to console me because I was truly in love with him. He insisted that he thought of her as a sister. Again, I believed him. Then, about a month later, as I was using his iPad to send some pictures to my phone, I noticed something odd in his chats with his best friend. When I checked, I found a message from December last year where he clearly stated that he used to like that girl. His best friend was advising him to distance himself from her so it wouldn’t affect our relationship in the future. I confronted him again, and everything started falling into place, causing me immense pain. He convinced me it was just a joke between him and his best friend, something common among boys. He apologized but justified it by saying that I was overthinking and that there was nothing to worry about.

I’m struggling to process everything that has happened. I love this guy so much, but how can I trust him now after all this? At the same time, I don’t want to move on because we had plans for the future together. I feel ugly, disgusting, and unworthy because of this third person, even though I treated him like a king all these years.