Hi, Back in college, I dated someone for four years in a long distance relationship. I gave her everything I could, but she still had complaints. Fresh out of college and trying to make a life in a new city, I started talking to other women for friendship, just seeking some comfort. My relationship with my girlfriend was complicated, with many breakups and patch ups, and I wanted to end it. During this time, I met another girl from my college city.
She was strong, positive, and driven, which I admired. She even encouraged me to patch things up with my girlfriend, but I had already decided to move on. I broke up with my college girlfriend and started dating this new girl, and we were together for six years, also long distance. I tried to be my best self for her, working on myself a lot, but she was never truly happy, especially after losing her parents. She was often depressed, and it was hard to manage from a distance.
She said I didn’t express myself physically, and she felt insecure about her appearance despite my reassurances. However, I sometimes told her to lose weight or dress differently, which she didn’t appreciate. She also felt I stopped appreciating her and was always overthinking. I couldn’t understand why she couldn’t just move on from her parents’ loss. She talked about feeling like she had a black hole inside and wanted to see a therapist, but I didn’t believe in therapy, thinking it was just a money making scheme.
I always told her to think positively, but she kept insisting her trauma was too deep. The emotional weight became too much for me. I was also building my career and had even bought a house for us, but her constant sadness and knee injury were more than I could handle. I met a new colleague who had a similar knee issue but was positive and came from a good family. I was attracted to her calm and refreshing personality and decided I couldn’t continue with my girlfriend anymore.
I wanted to be a CEO and didn’t have time for emotional baggage. After my grandfather passed away, I realized I needed to think about myself, so I broke up with her over a call, telling her I didn’t feel anything for her anymore. She begged and cried, saying I was her only family, but I felt relationships are about sharing, not one sided sacrifices. We met one last time in September, but she was cold, and I didn’t know how to handle it.
She was physically distant and spoke about her trauma whenever I tried to get close. I hadn’t had any physical intimacy for over a year, and we only met a few times a year. I appreciated what she taught me, but I knew I couldn’t be with someone who was always negative. I finally broke up with her via text or call l can’t even remember. After we broke up, she somehow figured out who I was talking to, but I didn’t want to share anything because I was done.
I asked her to stay friends, but she refused, so I blocked her. She needed therapy, not a partner, and I told her to seek help, as I couldn’t deal with the negativity anymore. Now, I’m happily seeing someone new. It’s not long distance, and we see each other daily. She doesn’t expect constant calls or texts, which gives me time to focus on my studies and gym. It feels right, and I’m grateful. She’s perfect intelligent, independent, and comes from a good family.
We took a trip together in January, and I’m committed to building a future with her. My ex did try to contact me in February, but I let my girlfriend handle it because I didn’t want any more drama. I’ve moved on and have no interest in looking back. I did return all the money, cards, and gifts my ex gave me, as I didn’t want any negativity lingering. I won’t tolerate any disrespect toward my current girlfriend, and I’m planning a future with her.
While I do feel bad about leaving my ex when she was vulnerable, I believe I did the right thing for myself. I’ve blocked her, but sometimes I check on her through another account to see how she’s doing. She seems happy, and I’m sure she’s figuring things out on her own. I am sure I did the right thing for both of us. It was necessary, or else we would have become like her broken parents.
I had no intention to hurt her, but I hope she understands one day that this was the best thing to do and that she doesn’t need me or anyone to have a family or a home. She alone is complete. And no, I did not replace my feelings toward her with someone else. It all naturally went to zero. That is normal. One day she will understand that everything happens for a reason and that it’s positive. I have no hatred towards her and have forgiven her. I truly wish she gets the best. And if you are somehow reading this, you will.