I am 28 female, currently looking for an arranged marriage. I recently had a phone conversation with a boy (30) found by the family. The first conversation lasted approximately 25 minutes. Upon asking about expectations from a future partner, he replied that the girl should take care of the family. He lives in Bangalore (shifting to my city in just a couple of weeks), whereas his family lives in a tier-2 city in Madhya Pradesh.
In the first conversation, I found the boy to be self-centered as he didn’t ask me anything related to marriage, rather some beating-around-the-bush-type questions. The first conversation mostly revolved around hobbies and basic profile questions. I said *No* after the first call to my parents, but he said *Yes*. My parents persuaded me to talk to him again (girls’ POV is least listened to and accepted) and get my doubts cleared.
In the second conversation, which lasted for an hour, I preferred talking about serious topics like: What about my job if he resigns and shifts to another city? What about living with family? I asked him about his temper (I have seen abusive husbands and I am really afraid of getting one). For every question, his answer was, “We will see in the future.” When I asked where he is planning to settle in the future, he said, “Wherever a good opportunity comes up, I will shift.”
Upon asking if a good opportunity knocks on my door, he said, “You can shift as well.” Then I asked, “What about us, if I get an opportunity in City A and he gets one in City B?” He responded, “Then it’s your call what you want to do.” In the second conversation, I told him about my fear of marriage and asked him about his plans for marriage. He said, “In the next 2 months.” I said I need at least 6-7 months to know him and say *Yes*.
In the same conversation, I told him, if I say to postpone the marriage for 6 months, my parents won’t agree, but they might agree if *you* say so. I even told him not to mention my name to my parents while bringing up this 6-month courtship, which I want. And today, his dad called my father and said, “Your daughter wants a 6-7 month courtship.”
Question: Should I trust a person like him for a lifetime who could not keep the conversation between us only? I guess such a person is going to tell everything to his family. He is 30 and still can’t respect my fears.
Option 1: Yes
Option 2: No