I have been in multiple relationships, each time trusting and believing it would work out. I was in a toxic relationship where the guy was over possessive, abusive, and threatening. It was challenging and took a lot of energy to leave. Then, I got close to a friend and fell for him. But he couldn’t commit to me because of his family. I was very attached to him he felt like home to me.
I thought he would eventually change his decision since he expressed that he truly loved me, but he didn’t. Every time I brought up marriage, his answer was a straight no. Recently, I found out he is now fighting for another girl. Due to family pressure for marriage, I had to make a decision to move on. But because of my past, I couldn’t believe in arranged marriages or trust a guy I had just met.
Around the same time, I received a proposal from a friend I had known for a few years. I thought everything would work out, but his parents didn’t agree to an inter-caste marriage, and he got married. Seeing him move on so quickly is killing me. I was alone for a few days, and with the increasing pressure for marriage, I met a guy who is innocent and exactly like me. He proposed, and I told him everything about my past he accepted me completely.
I decided to give myself another chance because I know I can’t fit into the arranged marriage concept. He is good, and everything is going well, but something is missing in me. Have I lost trust in relationships? Or am I expecting too much and putting my past trauma on him? I don’t know. I expect small things, and when they don’t happen, I feel very hurt. It’s not that he is a bad person, he is innocent, and maybe this is all new to him.
But I feel like I’m giving too much, and he’s not reciprocating. Maybe he just doesn’t know how to express himself. I’m really confused. Everything is hitting me and breaking me daily. His parents are sweet and have accepted me, but I still need to convince my parents. I don’t know if I’m rushing things. Maybe if I didn’t have this past, this could have been a happy relationship.
Now, I feel like I’m expecting too much and overthinking. I don’t even have time to take a break. I don’t know what to do I’m really feeling like ending everything.
Question: What should I do?
Option 1: End this relationship and take time for yourself.
Option 2: Trust this relationship and move on.