I am 36, married, and have a 6-month-old baby. I’ve had a great life up until marriage. I was extremely happy before, but after marrying a girl through matrimony, I realized she wasn’t my type. However, I had to adjust and give it time. Even though years went by, the physical intimacy never improved. My wife is a very pampered girl, childish, and never had any boyfriends, she was a virgin, so she had zero experience with sex.
I’ve had girlfriends in the past but only one sexual experience, and that was a long time ago, in 2016. I’ve had numerous fights, both before and after having a kid, about physical intimacy. She never initiates, never wants sex, or even thinks about it. I’ve confronted her multiple times over the years, though a couple of times she took the initiative, nothing came of it.
I’m very sexually active, I want sex, watch porn, imagine positions, and fantasize about so many things. But I’m still here waiting for my wife, and nothing has happened. The kid happened with a lot of difficulty though, and I’m grateful for everything. I don’t force her, but there is a limit to a man’s patience. I’m broken inside, but I have to keep a smile on my face.
Recently, I went for a spa massage for the first time ever. The person at the reception showed me various options, and I chose the cheapest one, the Balinese massage. She took me inside and started the massage. After finishing the back massages, she asked if I wanted anything extra. I asked what was available, and she mentioned a b with b2b massage or sex with a massage and bath together.
I chose the second option, went through with it, and had the good time of my life. My body was craving and begging for it. But I was also scared, with multiple things running through my mind. I just let it go and enjoyed the experience. Now, I feel like I cheated on my wife and family, but at the same time, I was craving physical touch and intimacy. I was dying inside.
It’s a mix of betraying a loyal person and family while also fulfilling my desires.