I received a request from a person on matrimony site. He was the one who approached me and initiated the conversation. After talking for a few days, he ghosted me. When I blocked him, he said, “I love you, I want to marry you. Let’s make a connection, and then we will involve our families.” He is from Hyderabad, and I am from West Bengal. I had already mentioned in my biodata that I am dusky, not fair. He saw me on a video call, and nothing was hidden from him.
My family went to Hyderabad to his place for marriage customs. My parents did the *cheka*, but the day my family had to return, his dad suddenly started yelling and creating a scene, saying he wanted a fair girl, not a dusky one, for his son. The boy said nothing and just listened. His parents already knew I was dusky, yet they insulted my parents and kept asking about my complexion since the day my parents arrived. The man’s family cancelled the wedding. I was shattered as we had prepared everything-guests were invited, the hall was booked, and everything was done. I tried talking to him, but he took his parents’ side and ignored my calls for almost a week. I starved myself for five days because of the shock.
Then, when I was constantly trying to reach him-as I loved him-he replied and asked for my nudes, saying, “I don’t trust you as I have not seen you in person. Many frauds are taking place nowadays, so I don’t feel anything for you anymore until you prove to me that you are the same girl I love.” I had told him to meet me once before taking things further, but he denied it, saying, “I love you, and that’s all that matters.” I even sent him my nudes to prove I was the same girl. After that, things gradually went back to normal.
After one month, he was supposed to come here to meet me, but he didn’t. He said his dad found out and locked him in his room. He was 32 years old and still being controlled by his father. Again, I had to listen to everyone, and he broke my trust again. He cried and said he was helpless, so I somehow managed the situation and trusted him again.
He cried and convinced me to come to Hyderabad to meet him. I went there alone without telling anyone, as no one was supportive anymore after everything that had happened. He came to the airport, received me, and stayed with me in a hotel in Hyderabad. The next day, somehow, his dad came to the hotel where I was staying. I don’t know how he got my room number, but he was standing right outside my room. I was scared, as I never trusted his father.
The spineless man I loved was with me in the room. He said he would go outside secretly and warned me not to open the door no matter what happened. After an hour and a half, he called me to the hotel parking lot and said, “My parents want to see you.” I went there, and his father tried to hit me twice with a helmet. Both his mother and father abused me, and his father openly said, “I will murder you even if I have to waste lakhs to do it.”
Then, he took his parents home and never showed up at the hotel again. I was alone and scared. I somehow managed to book tickets, took police protection, and caught the first early flight back home. He never came to the airport and called me, saying again that he was locked by his father. His father insulted me in front of so many people, but this man just stood there and said nothing. I went so far for him, but this is what I got.
After I came back home, he started blaming me, saying, “You came here to trap me. You wanted to use the used condoms to get pregnant and trap me.” He said a lot of things and, like always, abandoned me again. When I finally decided to move on, he came back crying, saying, “I can’t live without you. I want to marry you, but my parents are against it because you are not fair.”
It’s been ten months since we’ve been together. I blocked him and said, “Be with your parents. Marry some fair girl and leave me.” He keeps calling me, emotionally manipulating me, and asking me to wait for him. He says he will come here and take me with him, but he will not have a court marriage with me. He says he will have a court marriage after five years of staying with me.
He video calls me and always wants to have video sex. I avoid it, and he says, “I love you. Whom should I share my needs with if not you?”
Should I be with him? Or should I leave him? He is very manipulative and a liar, and I don’t trust him. He treated me poorly for five months. Now, when I am drifting apart, he is being good. The moment I distance myself, he becomes very loving. I don’t know what to do. I don’t even trust him. I doubt if he is already married and just playing with me.
He hasn’t come here even once. He just keeps saying, “I will come. I just need time to settle. As we will stay in Bangalore, I need time to arrange things.” It’s been months, and I still don’t see any progress. But he cries a lot, says he loves me, yet he isn’t coming here to talk to my parents. He is not letting me move on, nor is he doing anything to improve things.
What should I do now?
crying has become a lot common these days to make the fool out of a woman. why do u wanna wait when u wer threatened,shamed and asked nudes to prove urself when he says he loved u that much.
even if u get married to him, will u be safe from his parents?
what if they hurt u to get rid of u
when ur all ok with him he just ignored let’s u get abused and beat up.
bt when u try to ignore him he behaves as if he loves u for life.
ignore him and move on. ull get someone better.