24 Female: Being emotionally shattered and financially broke is the worst someone could ever go through. I am 24(F). It’s been a year now since I ended a 3-year relationship. The guy was really nice.
When I moved away from home for further studies, he got a job opportunity in the same city. We planned to stay together (live-in). Initially, I stayed in a PG but later planned to find a flat and shift with him. We tried but couldn’t find a suitable flat. So, he told me to move in with him until we found one. I left my PG after two months and moved to his place. He only had one room with a single bed, which was in very bad condition: it was stinky, the paint on the walls was peeling, and it had a bad neighborhood.
He had a friend living next to his room, and a girl used to visit often. We found out she was looking for a flatmate. The flat was 15K. I was relying on my parents’ money, so I could only afford up to 5K as rent. But he said I could move in first and he’d help with the rent, and he’d move in with me next month so we could both afford the place. We agreed that I’d pay 5500 and he’d cover the rest. He earned a basic salary of 60K plus incentives, averaging around 80-90K per month. I told him I was not comfortable taking money from him, but he assured me that 2K was not even a day’s pay for him and was barely his two-time Zomato bill.
I moved in. He then denied moving in with me the next month, saying I lived in the next lane and he could be at my place anytime without moving in full-time. I was shocked and found it hard to digest, but I eventually moved on. I asked for the second month’s rent, and he denied it, saying he couldn’t make a GPay transaction to me because he’d have to show it to his father. He asked me to pay it upfront, promising to reimburse me later. I did the same.
I stayed there for 8 months, paying 7500 all on my own. I only received a 6K monthly allowance from home and had another 2 lakhs, my father’s savings, in my bank account. I ended up using that money. I was paying 7500 rent, plus 1200-2000 for the light bill, and 500-600 for water bills, totaling around 10K. I asked him repeatedly for the 2K rent, but he always made excuses, saying, “Wait until my incentives come in” or “I’ll do it in a few days.”
Not only this, but he also hooked up with my roommate. When I confronted him, he asked me to apologize, saying I was overreacting. Time passed, and I got over it. He moved to Delhi, and I stayed in the same city. Blinded by love, I kept traveling to meet him in Delhi, as he couldn’t travel due to his CAT classes. I traveled twice or thrice a month on weekends. Despite traveling on my own, which cost me 2500 each time, he asked me to share food bills with him. I would pay for dinner and he’d pay for lunch, even though he already had a cook. We went out with his friends, and I ended up paying for both of us and two of his friends, which cost 5K again.
By that time, I was fed up. I was broke. I had used 1 lakh of my father’s savings, my monthly 6K allowance, and the 60K I earned during a two-month job. In Delhi, I found out he was cheating on me for five months, sexting and having sex video calls with another girl.
I was hopeless. I confronted him in a rage. I didn’t leave him immediately but called him later to ask why he did that to me. I was shattered. At last, he left me, saying that he did wrong but couldn’t take the pain I was causing him, accusing me of being too much and emotionally draining him, and manipulating him.
I lost money and all my efforts to him. I feel really bad for myself. This could have stopped if I had realized it earlier. I should’ve known when he paid for his friends but asked me to share in alcohol and food expenses or when he took us out and asked me to pay for his petrol. Being emotionally shattered and broke is a terrible combo. I had only 14 rupees in my account when he left, unable to afford anything to eat. I bought a Maggi that night, cried, and fed myself.
I still don’t know what to do. All I have towards him is rage. He’s still out there dating other girls. I have his spare Gmail logged in on my phone, and he’s sexting another girl, with a hotel booked in their name last night.
I don’t know how to calm myself down. People break you and then are happy in their lives as if nothing happened. I feel like a fool all the time.
keeping such a fool In mind and let him ruin ur happiness, u not able to stand up for ur self. make a better future.
he used u and left. the same will be done to those other girls by him.
it’s good dat u got to know about him at some point.
better stop thinking abt such person and move on.
try to focus on ur life and career.
the sooner u overcome this the more happy u will be
and if at all he comes back whining
do not EVER trust him
Your pain is valid, and it’s clear you’ve been through an emotionally and financially draining relationship. This person exploited your kindness, manipulated you, and betrayed your trust, leaving you feeling shattered and used. It’s natural to feel rage and regret, but it’s important to remember that his actions reflect his character, not your worth.
First, acknowledge your strength for enduring this and confronting him. You’ve already taken a step toward healing by recognizing the toxicity of the relationship. Now, it’s time to focus on yourself. Block his access to your life—log out of his Gmail, cut all contact, and remove reminders of him. This will help you regain control and stop reopening wounds.
Financially, start rebuilding. Create a budget, seek support from family or friends if needed, and focus on stabilizing your situation. Emotionally, allow yourself to grieve but avoid dwelling on his actions or comparing his life to yours. His behavior is a reflection of his flaws, not your value.
Seek therapy or counseling to process your emotions and rebuild your self-esteem. Surround yourself with supportive people who uplift you. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you rediscover your independence. Journaling, meditation, or creative outlets can also help you process your feelings.
Lastly, forgive yourself. You’re not a fool for trusting someone—you were human. Learn from this experience, but don’t let it define you. You deserve love, respect, and happiness, and with time, you’ll heal and find someone who values you. Focus on rebuilding your life, one step at a time, and know that brighter days are ahead.