I am 26F and have never been in any relationship. I always looked forward to the arranged marriage process, thinking that my parents would find the right match for me. But as I turned 23, and my parents started their search, I realized that the whole process is very taxing, has many gaps, and is quite risky.
It was very hard to convince my parents to stop saying YES to guys abroad for marriage. My parents behave very oddly when talking to the guy’s side. They say YES to everything on the phone when the discussion is happening. Later, after disconnecting the call, they feel that something is not right and discuss that something feels off. This has happened during marriage discussions with approximately three families.
We are using local WhatsApp groups, newspapers, and some matrimonial apps, but the whole process is very tiring. I don’t trust dating apps, as I think non-serious men are available there, so I prefer to meet guys on matrimonial apps. It was very hard to convince my parents to let me meet the guy before doing any ceremony (Roka). I have met four guys in person. I liked one of them, but he ghosted me after 2-3 months of chatting.
I am not sure how to proceed with this marriage guy shortlisting process. When I was in school/college, my parents were strict, and they put me in all-girls institutions. I don’t have a lover, and honestly, I feel that this is the right time to get married. I am not much into GF-BF things, but I want to be a wife.
When I was talking to the guy (who ghosted me), I avoided video calls out of concern for my own safety. I can’t be available on video for a guy I barely know. I know it sounds very conservative on my side or makes me seem boring, but I have heard so many cases of guys cheating and not marrying after relationships/courtship periods that I am finding it very hard to trust men.
Even if I try to trust, I end up being ghosted by the ones I like. If I don’t like someone after meeting them, I let them know within 1-2 days in a respectful manner to stay mindful of everyone’s time and emotions. However, ghosting without proper closure isn’t something good. I am keeping my parents involved in the process thoroughly. They are aware that I was talking to this guy and now I have been ghosted, so it ends up in scolding me for not knowing how to talk or what to say, also body-shaming me that I am fat and guys like thin girls.
As I haven’t been in a relationship or been friends with guys, it is hard to talk casually with them. I am a shy person, and I try to keep the conversation healthy and general, but if it seems boring, what do I do? I am using ChatGPT also, and I ask all relationship questions I should ask before getting into marriage, but it’s been a big fail. It has been approximately a year now with no good results.
Question: I am clear that I do not want to go abroad for marriage. It is risky. Any suggestions on how to proceed with local matches? Am I being too picky in the process?
Option 1: Yes, I should search as per my preferences.
Option 2: I should video call guys from matrimony apps?
choosing an app to decide whom to meet or talk. AI has really started controlling humans.
why video calls when u can meet in person and decide if like him or not.
not all men are safe to have chats and video calls.
and body shaming own daughter?
what good can people feel when own family is body shaming.
choose someone whom u think can keep u happy for the rest of ur life.
I think first you change your your personality like extrovert I read your confession you are shy person and I think you are also introvert first you should observe around your area and friends relatives try to mingle with everyone how are that act and react you will observe and understand their knowledge ande also ask your friends hows marriage life what do you like or not after that you can see what do you want in marriage life you can find your own answer without chatgpt or any thing