I have been married for 10 months now and pregnant for 8 months (unplanned).
At first, I felt my husband was full of green flags, but now I feel like he’s just pretending to be good while observing everything. He earns almost 1.5 lakh per month, and I earn 50k per month.
Before marriage, I had plans to take out a loan and buy our own flat, which I had even shared with my husband. However, after marriage, I found out that he has loans/debts that will take three years to pay off. I compromised and was initially very worried about his debts, but now I feel like we should just clear them by saving both of our salaries.
So far, everything is fine. We have to support his parents financially, which I understand is a responsibility. But then there are his three sisters. The eldest and second sisters expect us to spend money on their kids-whether for their education or by giving cash-which we didn’t comply with since we were just starting our marriage. Now, his eldest sister’s daughter is getting married in the next two years, and she is definitely going to ask for a gold gift. I told my husband that if we gift one person, we’ll have to gift everyone (a total of four girls and three boys). Given that we are expecting a baby soon, dealing with loans/debts, and supporting his parents, I suggested we keep it simple and do a normal ceremony like everyone else-without gold or cash. But he insists it’s his responsibility, and when the time comes, he will gift them as much as he can. Then what about me and the baby-aren’t we his responsibility?
Ours was an arranged marriage. My family is financially stable, and while his family isn’t as well off, I was okay with supporting his parents. However, I never expected to take on his debts and his sisters’ expenses. I entered this marriage thinking that since he had no unmarried sisters, there wouldn’t be any additional responsibilities, and we could manage everything with our salaries.
For the past nine months, we’ve been staying at my parents’ house, and my father has covered all my expenses, including medical bills and check-ups. Even after delivery, we will be staying with my parents for another year. Isn’t this the right time to save and clear our debts so we can become financially stable and provide the best for our baby? But if, after a year, he’s going to spend money on his sisters, what’s the point of saving and clearing loans? Are we living for them?
Initially, we planned to buy a nice gift for the baby after birth, but now, at this stage, we won’t even be able to afford anything for him/her.~