We dated each other for one month, then I moved to a different city and stayed in a long distance relationship on and off for one and a half years. After that, we talked to our parents, and now, for the past two months, we have been living together. He loves me a lot, but he has anger issues. He always talks in a loud voice and doesn’t even know how to speak politely. I tried to tell him to be calm and talk gently, but he never listens.
I sat with a guy friend and drank a cocktail with him. My boyfriend became so angry that he said very inappropriate words about my character, completely lost his temper, and had no sense of how to talk. I confronted him and apologized, but it was not enough for him. He continued being angry and still vents his frustration to this day. He is controlling. He tells me not to wear shorts when other people are around, saying that he will decide when I am allowed to wear them at home or when it is safe.
His sister also lives with us and is always around. He doesn’t spend quality time with me his sister is involved in everything. We rarely go out alone, and he never plans anything for us. He is overly protective and caring toward his sister, often comparing me to her and prioritizing her in everything. Even when he does plan an outing with me, he either wants to go home as soon as possible or invites her to join us for dinner.
Whenever something goes wrong, he always blames me and takes out his frustration on me. Throughout this entire relationship, he has never accepted responsibility for anything and finds faults in everything. Whenever we fight, he never apologizes. He makes breakfast for me and thinks that is a special effort, but whenever I ask him to do something special, plan a surprise, or organize a date on his own, he dismisses it.
In these two months, we have rarely gone out, and when we did, it was only after a lot of fighting or something going wrong. Whenever I try to end the relationship, he manipulates me, blames me, and speaks very rudely. I have repeatedly told him that I do not like when someone questions my character, yet he always brings it up. I have tried to make him understand the importance of speaking gently and politely, but he never listens.
I told him that I would really appreciate small gifts, surprises, or outings planned by him, but he gets angry at this, blames me, criticizes me, and says that he makes me feel special in other ways, like cooking. Whenever I try to explain anything to him, he gets angry, blames me, and insists that I am the one who doesn’t understand. He never considers that he might be wrong, that he needs to change, or that he should apologize for anything.