A few days back I shared something and you guys judged me a lot. So here is the full detailed story. I am 28, a virgin (because that was the whole reason people were calling me a randi in the comments). I have been in a relationship before for 7 to 8 months and we got physical. (By physical I mean making out, kissing, cuddling, etc., and not SEX). After these 7 to 8 months, I got sick (hospitalized) and because I wasn’t available for the guy, he dumped me and got married to someone else. Because I was so sick and meanwhile depressed, it took me almost 2 years to move on completely.
Now, since I am 27 to 28 now (December 1997 born), I wanted to meet someone good. Because I don’t go out much and have a job where I can’t find someone whom I can relate to, I downloaded a dating app, not hoping for much. There I found a man (30) and we vibed pretty well. From the beginning, he said he needed time understandable as we’ve met since 1st Feb 2025. Now after 1½ months, I went to his place and we got cozy (again not sex, just kissing and cuddling). This happened twice. But when I asked about future planning, he said he’s not sure as he can’t trust anyone and needed some time.
Then I uploaded my last confession and you guys called me a *cum dump* and whatnot (but that kind of helped, even though you guys didn’t have the full story). So I distanced myself. I know what happened to me last time. And since it’s only been 3 months, moving on will be easier compared to if he had said this to me after a year or so. I told him upfront, “Okay, it’s your life as well and I don’t think we are looking for the same thing.” He said we could still be friends, which I agreed to, but with the condition that we will not make out or be touchy touchy as he is not sure.
So let’s be platonic friends. After a week or so of not meeting, since he’s a professor and busy with students’ exams, he suddenly texted me saying, “If you’re not serious, we shouldn’t text.” At first, I was shocked but I reminded him that he was the one who was unsure and didn’t want anything serious. So he’s making up things about how he likes me but is unsure if he wants to marry me or not. So my final decision is I can’t be with someone who’s so unsure about me. (I am pretty, I know that.) It’s just that I am an introvert and unlucky in love, which is why I’m single.
But at least I’m not cheating or getting cheated on. I draw the line at not getting touchy touchy with him. If after a few months of not getting physical he still wants me, then I’ll think about it. I’ll be looking for someone good somewhere else (because apparently guys don’t marry girls from brothels or dating apps, and I’ve stopped using dating apps altogether). Meanwhile, I am quite scared of arranged marriage and rushing towards marriage as well. As I’ve seen so many horror confessions here too. I want to take time and meet new good people.
Also, some guys were very concerned for my potential husband, that his life will be destroyed, so here are some things
• I am a virgin.
• I am good looking.
• I am highly qualified and doing well in my career.
• Very family-oriented but also a free spirit.
• I know my worth and any guy will be lucky to marry me, even the guys abusing me in the comments without knowing the full story. And the guys in this generation are no good. Even in their 30s, they are not sure about their future.
Question: What should I do?
Option 1: Wait for him.
Option 2: Get into an arranged marriage setup.