We met at a football turf, and when he saw me, he fell in love at first sight. He tried to connect with me through our mutual friend. At first, I didn’t have any feelings for him, but one day he told me about his past relationship, which lasted 7 years. That conversation sparked something in me, and I started developing feelings for him. I thought he could love me as deeply as he loved his ex girlfriend.
After a while, we went on a few simple dates and got to know each other better. Eventually, he confessed his feelings for me, and I said yes. I thought he was the one, and he said the same that we were meant to be together. He used to call me all sorts of sweet nicknames, showing how madly in love he was with me. But one day, I realized I didn’t know much about him since we fell in love so fast.
I told him we needed to have a deeper conversation about our lives. That’s when he suddenly said he had something to confess, but he wasn’t sure how I would take it. I thought it would be something about his past, so I reassured him, telling him he could say anything and I wouldn’t judge. He started telling his story. After breaking up with his ex of 7 years, he fell into depression.
During that time, he needed someone to help him move on. He met a girl, and they began living together as friends with benefits. When he got a job and moved to his current place, he brought her along as his roommate. And she’s still living with him. Before we got into a relationship, I had told him about my past and made it clear that I couldn’t be with a man who has a close female friend.
Knowing this, he still kept it from me. I had no idea he was living with another girl. He even gave me his phone to talk to her, and she told me they were just friends. I couldn’t accept this, and when I heard it, my world collapsed. All my happiness disappeared. But he promised me that he had no feelings for her and begged me not to leave. He asked for a week to ask her to move out, and he followed through to save our relationship.
After she left, he told me he felt like he was losing feelings for me. By that time, he had already used me physically, giving me hope that we would marry one day. I fell for his words. But things only got worse. One day, he cried and said he missed his roommate, that he loved her and missed her presence. Even after she left, he stayed in contact with her. Eventually, he realized he was in love with her, not me.
He stopped making plans to see me, avoided me, and one day, he told me he no longer had feelings for me. That day, I felt like my entire life shattered. I’ve been through something similar with my ex, but this time it’s even worse. I feel like I’m losing myself. He blocked me everywhere and refuses to talk. Whenever I try to reach out, he shouts at me, saying it’s over and that he doesn’t even think about me.
I still love him because I got so attached. Please help me find a solution. If I had known about this situation, I never would have said yes to him. I really need to get out of this trauma, but I feel like I’m falling deeper into depression every day. I don’t even want to live anymore.
Yo Likitha san. I feel for you. How nice it would’ve ben if he just told you at the beginning that he has a close friend who is also his roommate, your poor heart definitely had to go through a lot due to his mistake. I guess he just desperately wanted to get you to say yes to hid it from you.. and then never found a way to tell it until he finally did. And having for so long he hasn’t been able to break free from her for you.
I don’t know if he is evil or not for “using you” and all, but he is 10 billion percent an idiot for not introspecting within himself who he likes more and sorting it out before jumping into a relationship with you. He seems to have made some futile attempts in the.. but no they haven’t made much difference as he found he likes her more when he tried to distance himself from her. Leaving him aside for a bit as we have already established that he has been a jerk and a idiot, we need to talk about you. Cause you are more important in your life.
I can understand how your heart feels like it is torn apart with a sense of betrayal from the one you loved the most. But i need you to understand that your love for him is beginning to get toxic. You still can’t afford to still be attached to him. Of course it’s easy for me to say as I’m not the one going through it, but you have to rediscover your hobbies, your interests and your people again and get your brain off him. Love yourself half of what you are loving him then you’ll fine that you don’t deserve the pain of still trying to go after him.
And perhaps see that you are only further hurting yourself by chasing him, the one who couldn’t care much about how you were left feeling for his stupid decisions. I used to have a crush on a girl. We were friends for years.. but something happened and she broke the friendship for something i didn’t do (she too knew i didn’t do anything.. she did that for others satisfaction).
I felt extremely upset that how could i have loved someone for so long who didn’t have to hesitate much to break our friendship. I understood my love for her is toxic and is coming at a cost of me not caring about myself as much i did for her. I really hope you make it through. I’ll be cheering for you in spirit.