I am a doctor and once loved a boy genuinely and wholeheartedly. Later, I found out that he was just using me in every way possible. Being innocent and inexperienced, I realized this too late. I also discovered that he had done the same thing to many other girls, being in relationships with 5 to 6 girls at the same time. His worst group of friends weren’t any better. They shared the same mentality, constantly making degrading comments about girls and engaging in slut shaming. After experiencing this torment, I spiraled into depression.
It took me years to recover, and for the past 6 years, I’ve been happily single, having forgotten what love and happiness feel like because of the trauma I faced. But I’ve been content with my simple, peaceful life. Now, here’s the real issue: I recently received a marriage proposal. After some digging, I found out that this boy has a few mutual friends from college some of whom are my ex boyfriend’s friends. These are the same friends I mentioned earlier, who are just as bad as him. I’m not sure how much contact they still have with each other, but I assume it’s minimal.
After all, Facebook is filled with friends we rarely, if ever, speak to, but I can’t be completely certain. My concern is, what if this boy inquires about me with the same group of friends? How likely is it that they will spread negativity about me, even though there’s nothing truly bad to say? And how likely is it that this boy will believe these negative things about me, without understanding the painful past I’ve endured? I don’t have much of a positive outlook on life anymore, because all I’ve seen is people trying to damage others’ reputations and degrade them as much as possible.
They seem to find satisfaction in spreading negativity. I’m on the verge of rejecting this marriage proposal because, even if I only have 10 more years in this world, I just want to live peacefully. I really like this boy, but there are so many “marriage breakers” around me, and I don’t want my life to be completely messed up. Am I overthinking this, guys? Please, someone guide me. I don’t want to let go of this marriage proposal, but at the same time, I don’t want to live in constant fear.
PS: I don’t want to tell my future husband about my past because, well, the past is the past. People tend to believe the negative more than the positive.