I’m 32 years old, and I’ve had three failed relationships. Each one changed me in ways I never expected.
The first was with an older man who was separated from his wife. He told me he was a doctor and psychiatrist, showed me degrees and hospital videos. I believed him. Over time, I realized he was a heavy alcoholic. He became controlling, and I found myself sneaking out of my house to bring him food. I even bought him alcohol just to keep him calm. Hoping a change of environment would help, I took him to another city and introduced him to my family as a friend.
His mother saw me as someone who could cure him. His mother-in-law hoped I could reunite him with his ex-wife. I took him to the gurdwara, tried to get him treated in a mental hospital, but nothing changed. His aggression worsened. One day, he slapped me and blamed me for his suffering. That was it for me. I left.
After some time, I met another man. We dated for three months, and I fell deeply in love with him. I was all in-physically, mentally, emotionally. But one day, he told me he no longer felt attracted to me. I was desperate to hear his voice, so I catfished him for three months just to stay connected. When I finally confessed, he was devastated. After our breakup, we ended up working at the same firm. I kept chasing him, asking for forgiveness, reaching out to his friends. He finally filed a mental harassment complaint against me. I cried infront of HR. My career started falling apart after that. He left the company two years later, but I never moved on. I still think about him every day. I see him in the moon, I talk to him like he’s part of the universe. I even spent money on astrologers, hoping to get him back. They made me do bizarre things, and I fell into financial debt.
Two years later, I met someone much younger. He showed interest in me, and I was careful this time. I told him everything-about my ex, my heartbreak. He helped me erase all the memories-deleting photos, throwing away letters. Slowly, I started accepting him as my life partner and started living with him. Then, I found out he had slept with three other men while we were together. He started having anger issues.
Whenever I tried to tell him that he was doing wrong, he slapped me multiple times. He would turn off the lights and hit me when I was helpless. One day, he heated a knife on the gas stove and tried to burn my face, telling me to leave his life. That’s when I slapped him twice and walked away. Once, he also slept with someone else while I was in the same room. I slept in the washroom that night.
How does love turn into this? Cooking together, holding hands, sharing a bed-how does it all become meaningless? Now, I feel like I have nothing left to give. My mind is slow, my heart feels empty. I am tired of being fooled. I don’t have the energy to search for love anymore. I feel like I’ve gone mad.
1st of all ur name is likhith that seems to be a male. and u’ve 3 men who tried to hurt u mentally or physically.
if u don’t have the energy to search for love.then stop doing it. why do u wanna chase after people and get hurt. wait for someone who might come for u. that when ull be valued.
people use u untill they find happiness somewhere else.
don’t stress ur brain. concentrate on ur career and njy ur life. everything will fall into the right place at right time