I’m watching my favorite show (Koffee With Karan ;)) on TV, when the phone rings.
There’s a agitated lady on the phone.
Lady: “Hello? BSNL? My phone has not been working for….”
Me (interrupting) : “I think you have the wrong number”
Lady: “Oh! I’m sorry…”
and I hang up the phone. 3 seconds later, it rings again. It’s the same lady.
Lady: “Hello? BSNL? My phone is not working…”
Me: “Ma’am, the number you are dialing is the wrong number!”, and hang up the phone.
I return to the TV show. It’s a juicy episode with Rakhee Savant, and she’s bitching about Kareena. And the phone rings again.
Lady: “Hello? BSNL? Listen, don’t play games with me, OK? I know this is the right number. Don’t try to avoid me. Do you know who I am?”
I realized that this lady was not going to let me watch the show unless someone listened to her complaint.
Me: “Welcome to BSNL’s automated fault booking service. To continue in English, press one.”
The lady had actually pressed the ‘1’ on her dial pad. Interesting. I thought I’d have some fun.
Me: “To register a complaint, please press the last 5 digits of your Driving License number after the beep. BEEP”
I can hear the lady furiously rummaging through her bag looking for her Driving License. After a while
She had actually found it pretty fast.
Me: “Because of all the SPAM we have been receiving, we will now perform a check to see if you are human. Please enter the result of 35 multiplied by 4 divided by 12”
I can hear the lady shouting out to someone in the background.
Lady: “Prakash, quick! What is 35 times 4 by 12?”
Prakash: “What? Why do you need that?”
Lady: “I’m registering a complaint for our dead phone”
Prakash (sounding somewhat confused): “But why would you need…”
Lady: “JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION”
Prakash: “err..it’s…aaaa…elevent point….errr…”
The lady actually enters 1-1 on the dial pad.
Me: “Your complaint has been registered. Thank you for calling BSNL”
The lady sounds pleased. I can hear her speaking to “Prakash”
Lady: “I like BSNL. They have such a high tech system. They didn’t even have to ask me for the number of our landline that is dead. Cool!
-An Indian Confession