A Groom found my profile on a matrimony site and slide into my DMs on Instagram. I laid everything out my plan to return the gold my parents would gift me on my wedding day because it represents their sweat and blood, the dresses I’m comfortable wearing, my intention to stay in my current job for another 2 years, and my decision not to have babies because I’m terrified of childbirth and postpartum depression. He initially agreed to all my requests without a single question.
One morning, we met, had a deep conversation, and then informed our parents about our relationship. Everything seemed to be going perfectly, and we grew more intimate. Through his parents, he asked mine to book a date for the engagement ceremony. We went ahead and made all the arrangements booked the auditorium, photographer, makeup artist, engagement dress, and even set the date for the wedding. But then the groom started avoiding me, giving me flimsy excuses for not calling or texting.
On the night of August 2, 2024, we spoke on the phone, and he promised to call me the next morning. But the next morning, his phone was switched off. His parents then contacted mine to inform them they were calling off the engagement scheduled for August 18, 2024. He didn’t even have the decency to tell me about the cancellation himself. Since August 3, I’ve been on leave without pay from my job, and I frequently have emotional breakdowns, kicking myself for not seeing the red flags earlier.
Red flags after connecting the dots Post Ghosting:
1. He made me travel 10 km to his workplace at 10 PM from my hostel, only to move me away from the premises because he didn’t want his colleagues to see me.
2. He constantly tried to control what I wore, even telling me not to wear sleeveless clothing after marriage.
3. Whenever I expressed my concerns, he would shut me down, saying he grew up without facing problems and wanted to continue living that way.
4. He asked me to transfer my gold to his dad’s locker after marriage, which I flatly refused.
5. He pressured me to have babies, despite initially agreeing that it was okay not to.
6. To get a referral bonus from his company, he referred me to a 2 AM shift job that ended the next morning.
7. His brother, who was working in Canada, never once contacted me, yet the groom’s parents forced me to speak to him.
8. He would scroll through Instagram while on the phone with me, completely ignoring what I was saying.