I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend (25M) for four years, and we’re incredibly close; we can’t imagine life without each other. But as time has passed, balancing love with our career goals has become increasingly challenging for both of us. I’m in the process of completing my CA, which is a difficult and intense journey on its own. He, on the other hand, pursued engineering but didn’t take it seriously at first, which led to struggles in finding a stable job.
By the time I came into his life, toward the end of his college years, he had started becoming more ambitious and motivated to build a better future. Yet, he faced obstacles from past choices, making it hard to land a good position initially. After about a year and a half of work experience, his parents encouraged him to study further, and I also thought it was a good idea to give him a fresh start.
He applied to a program abroad and took up a related course connected to a well-known bank, which asked him to design software for their website in exchange for a certificate. Although there was no stipend, just basic accommodation, he accepted because it aligned with his future goals. However, the work conditions were tough-no electricity in his room, forcing him to work at night, which took a toll on him physically and mentally.
This period was especially rough on our relationship. I’ve always valued consistent attention and open communication, but he’s more avoidant and doesn’t express his feelings as easily. Once he started this assignment, it felt like he became unreachable no calls, no time, and I felt abandoned. It was painful for both of us; while he was under extreme pressure, I was feeling lonely and isolated with no close family or friends around to support me.
He asked for time, so I agreed to give him space for six months, but it kept stretching, and he kept asking for more time. I ended up waiting alone for nearly a year, which drained me emotionally. In the end, he completed the work, but the bank didn’t deliver the promised certificate. He had put in months of effort without any pay, suffered health issues, and endured harsh living conditions-all for nothing.
I felt so bad for him, but I was also angry at the endless cycle of bad luck we seemed to be caught in. I’ve watched my friends enjoy healthy, supportive relationships, and it’s hard not to feel jealous or question why things have to be so difficult for us.
Recently, his visa process began, and while he promised to focus more on us, the pressures haven’t eased up for him, and I’m feeling drained from all the waiting. Soon, he’ll be moving even farther away, and although he reassures me that he loves me, I’m left wondering how long I can keep holding on. I’ve sacrificed so much and feel sidelined, longing for stability and connection in a relationship that constantly tests my patience.
I’m at a crossroads-on one hand, I know he’s going through tough challenges, and I don’t want to abandon him when he’s struggling. But on the other hand, I’m exhausted, questioning if I should keep holding on or if it’s time to let go for my own well-being. I’ve never truly felt “loved.” Should I continue waiting in hopes things will eventually get better, or is it time to walk away from a relationship that’s left me feeling so alone?
It’s very sad to see turn of events which is very hard for both of you. If you feel that there is even tiny scope that you are being loved still as earlier.. then wait for him. Because you are the one who know the exact pain and struggle.
I am really sorry if I said anything wrong as I expressed my suggestion based on above story I understood. If you want to discuss anything further or need any suggestion pls reach out to me. I will be there as friend.