I met a guy on Tinder two years back, and I instantly liked him. As we were both on the same page, we told our parents about us. Since we are from the same caste, we thought we wouldn’t have any issues, but that is where we were absolutely wrong. I’m a doctor by profession, and my boyfriend is a software engineer (his salary is way less than mine; right now, he is unemployed, waiting for an appropriate job because my parents believe his income should be at least 1 to 2 lakhs per month).
His parents accepted our relationship, but mine didn’t. They thought this alliance was not up to the mark they had set for me in their minds. From then on, we had our ups and downs. I endured a lot of disrespect, threats, and emotional blackmail from my parents and relatives. My parents kept convincing me to leave my boyfriend and marry a doctor. They brought 2 to 3 alliances for me in these two years, even though I kept saying I wouldn’t marry anyone else.
There was a time when I literally fought with my parents and decided to marry my boyfriend that very day. But my parents stopped me, saying they would speak with my boyfriend’s parents about us. My father spoke to his mother, and she only asked for one thing that the marriage should happen within six months. I was preparing for my PG, and my exam was scheduled (my father keeps insisting that I secure a PG seat to ensure my future).
My boyfriend’s mom said that I could take my exam even after marriage, as they encourage people who want to study. My father ended the call, saying, “We don’t need your alliance.” From then on, my parents were not very keen on discussing this topic. My father still keeps saying that I should get a PG seat in order for him to accept my boyfriend. I tried to get the seat but failed. My boyfriend believes my parents don’t want me to marry him, so they keep giving these lame excuses.
Once, they said that my boyfriend’s horoscope doesn’t match mine and that if we got married, he would die. My boyfriend’s mom inquired about this and found that our horoscopes actually matched, but there might be some quarrels in the future if the marriage happens. This is just one example-they keep saying things that are completely false or half truths. Now, here are the bitter truths about my boyfriend. He, too, gave me a tough time during these allegations.
He directly told me that he couldn’t tolerate any disrespect towards his parents (my parents said his parents are not well off). He was supportive at times, but most of the time, he ghosted me after hearing what my parents were saying. I thought his anger was justified, as nobody tolerates too many allegations. I kept going back to him each time something happened. Putting these issues aside, my boyfriend treats me well. He encourages me to study and asks if I need any money (as my parents are in huge debt).
Here’s my situation right now: My father says I should secure a PG seat to marry my boyfriend as per my wish. My boyfriend doesn’t trust this, as they keep changing their words. My parents are not financially stable, and my situation isn’t stable enough to get married either. I don’t want to marry without their consent, but I love my boyfriend so much that I can’t live without him.
There is immense pressure from my boyfriend’s family to get married ASAP after he gets a job. It has already been a year and a half since these allegations started, and they seem never-ending. Will my parents ever accept me and my boyfriend?