I have a good educational background and an average-paying job. I enrolled in a dating app in 2020 and connected with a guy with whom I truly formed a deep friendship. He proposed to me (without meeting me in person even once) and said he was very serious. At that time, I wondered how someone could develop such strong feelings just through texting, and I didn’t feel the same way, so I said no.
We didn’t talk for three months, but one day, he suddenly messaged me, and we started talking again. This time, it was different-our friendship grew stronger, and I realized how supportive he was. I fell for him hard. He became my first love.
When I told him I had developed feelings for him, he said he was a different person now and rambled about many things. Later, he admitted that he had broken up with his second girlfriend, with whom he had intended to marry. I wanted to support him during that time, but he asked for a friends-with-benefits relationship, and I accepted it.
Our bond was going well, and he was somewhat okay until he left to pursue his master’s. At that college, he got into a relationship with another girl while still being in an FWB situation with me. Later, he found out she was cheating on him and broke up with her. After this, he stopped dating altogether and lost his only male best friend-except for me.
We became even closer and felt like we were each other’s safest place. I told him I still loved him, worried about his future, and wanted to take care of him, be with him through life’s ups and downs, and eventually marry him. He told me, “If you had accepted me when I first asked, we would have two babies by now and a happy home. But now, I’m not ready for anything.”
He said our lifestyles differ (he is Hindu, and I am a Christian who is very spiritual and involved in church activities) and told me that this difference would eventually lead to divorce if we got married. He advised me to move on with my life but didn’t want to end our FWB arrangement until I got married.
Now, my parents have started looking for a groom for me, and I don’t know what to do. He told me he might get married around 30 or 33, but at the same time, he says he won’t be as vulnerable with his wife as he is with me.
Question: What should I do?
Option 1: Get married to the guy my parents choose?
Option 2: Move on, break the friendship, and end everything?
Option 3: Am I trusting him blindly or being manipulated?
he made it clear that he nly needs an FWB relation, and u agreed for it. he had proposed and u rejected it that made him go after other women. who broke his heart. and now he is at a stage where he doesn’t want any one in his life. u too are a diversion for his loneliness but won’t be treated as a gf / lover.
make everything clear that u wanna marry him, bt he wont accept it. so make it clear to him and try to moveon. cause the more u get closer the more ull suffer in the future.
concentrate on ur life or career.
if he really loves or atleast has a feeling that he can’t live without talking to u, he will return.