Hey there, I’m 22F and I have been in a relationship with a guy for over 2 years. He was my sibling’s close friend. We met and eventually found a spark between us. I never interrogated him about anything. One day, my childhood friend gave me a lift and he got pissed and abused me on a video call it was the first time. Well, “abuse” is a small word. A few days later, everything was normal again as I begged him to stay.
A few days later, he abused me again just for talking to a man (whom I called *bhaiya* and who referred to me as *behen*).
The next month, he abused me again I don’t even remember why. Two months later, he abused me for talking to his brother (I was planning his birthday). And just 2 days after that, he slapped me twice and called me a “r**di” just because I met an old friend on the way and didn’t inform him. Again, 2 months later, he abused and slapped me because someone he knows told him, “I saw her in someone’s car” which was never true. I never even sat in someone else’s car after we met.
He abused me again and said, “Tujhe sabke lene ka shauk hai na, bhejta hoon ladko ko.” “Tere jaisi r**di aaj tak nahi dekhi.” The very next day, he followed me to my college, slapped me, fought with me, took me to his place, apologized, and hugged me. The next month, he abused me again, saying, “Jitni baar kiya hai, uska paisa le lena.” Once, I found a text on his *Truecaller* from a girl saying, “Khana khaya?” and he immediately snatched his phone and never let me touch it again. I didn’t even know his password.
The next month, he abused me again, and when I tried to leave, he begged me to stay. I stayed, and 2 months went well then it all happened again. I know this cycle will always continue, but I really love him, and I’ve lost every bit of self-respect for him. I blocked all my close ones for him. He abused me two more times after this. This process continued for a whole year. I almost broke up with him. Just yesterday, I was going home from my job and was on a call with him, near my house.
A friend stopped by and we chatted for a few minutes. He started doubting me again and claimed, “Tujhe breakup karna hai kyunki tujhe azadi chahiye, tujhe ladko se baat karni hai, tujhe sab chahiye. Aur jo sabka hota hai, woh kisi ka nahi hota.” He always gaslights me. What do I do? How do I end things?