I was in a relationship with a guy (25M) for nearly 2.5 years. I really loved him, and I’m the kind of person who dates with marriage in mind. I don’t believe in time-pass or casual dating. From the start, he got scared of my serious attitude toward relationships and was like, “Let’s just go with the flow.” I told him I wasn’t forcing anything, but if things go well, what’s wrong with seeing a future together?
Everyone wants that. But he’d respond with, “Let’s break up.” He had some mental struggles from his past, so I tried to understand and support him, and somehow we made it through that first year. In the second year, we started fighting a lot, mostly because I had to keep asking him for time. He had his own business, so he’d sometimes go 8-10 hours without texting me. I’m a dropper I took a gap year after my graduation to focus on competitive exams.
But every time I shared something about it, he’d make an issue out of it. The fights kept increasing, and I somehow managed, but then I fell seriously ill with typhoid, and there were also some family deaths. All I wanted was his support, but he was too busy helping his friend with something unimportant. I was going through so much and just wanted him by my side, but he decided we needed a break… again.
And me? I was so in love that I didn’t leave; I kept trying to make things work even though I was completely broken inside. After the break ended, he’d come back saying, “I love you,” but the fights never stopped, and somehow he’d always be the one to walk away, like I was the most disposable person in his life. These past 2.5 years were the worst for me. With my health, my family issues, my dropper status, and repeated exam failures-it felt like I was constantly sinking.
Then in December 2023, we spent some time together, watched a movie, and he called me “wifey.” But come January, he vanished again for 8-10 hours, and all I’d asked him for was a single message to let me know he was busy or with friends. I even told him, “How am I different from any other girl if you won’t even reply to me?” And then he dropped the breakup message again. After two years of trying to hold this relationship together, I finally lost it.
I told him off, but he was so cold-hearted, I walked away. And this was in my birthday month and just before an important exam! Later that month was our 2-year anniversary, so I gave in and called him. We talked twice, but he was heartless, saying, “I’m happy without you.” I cried, accepted it, and somehow tried to pull myself together. Then in February, he called because he was sad and needed someone to talk to.
Initially, I ignored his calls because I knew I’d get hurt, but I loved him, and for me, he was everything. He kept saying he wanted to work things out, and at first, I refused because I was scared of being hurt again. But he kept trying, and eventually, my feelings overpowered my fears. So I said yes, and we discussed our issues and began working on things. He was never fully committed, though-always “confused.”
But in early May 2024, he finally gave me some assurance. Things were improving, and I was there for him during his MBA interview struggles, supporting him through his lowest points. But then on May 24, out of nowhere, he said, “I’m confused.” I had no words. Everything was going well, and I’d thought we’d finally gotten past it. I even started to suspect that he’d gotten into his MBA program, and that girl I hated-the one he’d unfollowed just to appease me-was back in his life.
After our breakup in May, he started following her again. He got into IIM for his MBA and didn’t even tell me. Here I was, supporting him through every low point, and he threw me out as soon as he was on top. Now I’m still here, struggling with my career, my mental health, my physical health, and he has no clue. He said he loved me, but now it all feels like a lie. He’s living his best life, and I’m stuck as a dropper, fighting to move on.
My mental health is in shambles; I’ve never been this low. I spent 2.5 years being strong through everything, but he broke me into pieces I can’t put back together. I never gave up on him; I stood by him through everything. But now, I don’t know what I did to deserve this, especially when I’m at my lowest. My family knows I’m struggling, though I haven’t told them everything. When I told my mom he got into IIM, she just hugged me and said, “It’s okay.”
But I have no idea how to move on from this betrayal and hurt. How do I handle this? How do I move on? I try to divert my mind, but nothing works. I keep thinking about him, realizing I’m no longer a part of his life. Tell me, what should I do? I loved him so much that no other guy even matters to me. I thought I’d found my person and that I’d finally be happy, but now I’m left shattered.
No amount of sharing or crying seems to lessen the pain. I keep praying that everything will be okay. I didn’t deserve this. I loved him so hard, but it feels like I’m just unlucky in love. I don’t know how to move on from this. Moving on feels like torture with my mental health this low, and nothing seems to help. What should I do?