I met the guy who had been my only college crush through a matrimony site. He sent me a request, which I accepted, and soon after, he contacted me on Facebook. We started talking, getting to know each other, and after about a month, we met informally. He told me his family is only after money and wants him to marry for financial gain, but he claimed to want someone genuine. He also admitted that his previous relationships all fell apart over the years. Why?
Because, according to him, every one of his exes cheated on him. Yet, he stayed “friends” with his third ex. Major red flag, right? But I ignored it, thinking he was sincere. Our marriage was informally fixed. After a few months, I found out he was still in constant touch with this ex, who was apparently having an affair with her married boss. When I confronted him, demanding that he cut ties with her, he refused.
He kept their conversations secret, continuing to message her, have late night calls, and even went shopping with her sometimes while he was on the phone with me! And all this behind my back until I found out. What followed was endless fights. He kept insisting that he wasn’t cheating, but he refused to show me the messages or call logs, going so far as to delete them. His excuse? “She doesn’t have anyone else to share her problems with.” Seriously?
After two months, I managed to see some of their chats (he had probably deleted the rest). She used to send him photos of herself in new dresses, fully aware he was engaged, and yet, neither of them seemed to care. After several fights, he *reluctantly* agreed to stop talking to her. But the drama didn’t end there. I noticed he had this constant infatuation with other girls, which he tried to pass off as “just friendship.” But I wasn’t naive.
He spent a lot of time with his female colleagues, knowing full well it irritated me. He even visited their homes and had dinner with them, alone, as if it was perfectly normal. Every single time, he defended himself, claiming I didn’t give him enough “freedom.” He constantly placed other women above me. His feelings, his needs, and his ego were always more important. And I’m supposed to marry this guy?
Am I really just being over possessive, or should I dump him before he destroys my peace completely? What would you do?