I’m sharing my personal story in the hopes that many girls can avoid making the same mistakes I did in love. My story takes place in 2018 when I fell for my masi’s devar at a wedding. He was charming and flirtatious, and I had a huge crush on him-it was my first love. However, I was naive and innocent, and I mistakenly believed he felt the same way. Unfortunately, he broke up with me, proving me wrong.
We met in May 2018, and I was drawn to him despite our 7-year age gap. I first saw him at the marriage function, and when I went home in the evening after the function was over, I just kept thinking about him. In October 2018, after Navratri, I did my best to find out his contact number so I could speak to him. Finally, I found it on Facebook from his ID. I didn’t have my personal phone; it was my mother’s phone. So, I called him, and our friendship began. I was very happy that day, feeling like God had given me a beautiful gift. But I was wrong.
After 2-3 days of friendship, he proposed to me. I was happy again, thinking that he loved me too, but in reality, he didn’t. During our relationship, I used to call and text him, but there was no effort from his side. It was just one-sided love. I was immature and didn’t realize it. Still, I pushed myself and gave my best. On December 20, 2018, he told me on a call that he was coming to Mumbai, where I live, and said he wanted to become physical with me.
I told him a big no and said I didn’t want to lose my virginity before marriage. It’s a gift for my future partner. He ended the call without saying a word. I thought maybe something came up, but from December 20 to December 25, I kept calling and texting him, begging him to speak to me, but he never answered. On December 23, he blocked me, and on December 25, he unblocked me.
That day, at exactly 10:30 pm, a message popped up on my mom’s phone. It was from him and said: “BRKUP FINALLY GOODBYE. Don’t message or call me from today onwards. I’m just getting bored with you. I feel disgusted with you.” Then he blocked me again. After that, I fell into depression, suffered from pneumonia, and it was also the time of my 10th board exams. From that day until 2024, I kept thinking day and night-what was my fault? I loved him so much with my inner soul, and he gave me this pain.
It took me five years to come out of this trauma. Now the second love story begins in 2024. In October again, I was searching for a job on WorkIndia because my mother had become very toxic day by day. I was looking for a job thinking maybe I would find peace. But again, I was wrong. In October 2024, I met a man-a businessman. As per WorkIndia app rules, if you want a job, you have to call the company or HR first.
So I called him and met him personally for an interview. He said there were no vacancies at the moment. Then he started flirting with me. Again, I was a big fool and believed him. He proposed to me, and we started dating. I thought maybe he was the one God made for me, because I had heard people say, “If you get ditched in your first love, the second one will surely love you.” I started loving him deeply with my inner soul.
I always asked about his likes and dislikes, like wives and girlfriends do, but he never asked me about mine. After some days, he did the same things the first one had done. I sat with him in his car, and without my consent, he kissed me on my lips-not deeply, like a married couple, but more like a smooch kiss. Honestly, I didn’t like it, but I thought, “Yes, he promised to marry me, so it’s okay-he’s my future husband.”
After some days, I always tried to plan meetings with him, but he had excuses like going to Pune because his uncle died or going to Nashik for a meeting. Every time I trusted him. Yes, I blindly trusted his lies because I thought, “If my love is true for him, why should I doubt him? Love doesn’t involve doubt.” I never checked his phone. I even told him, “You have the right to check my phone anytime.” But he never checked mine either.
Again, fights started. I think some men understand other men very well. One day, I told all this to my male best friend, and he said he would meet him to observe his nature and see what kind of man he really is. Please kindly note: In this second relationship, this man always used to say, “Let’s go to a hotel,” for intimacy, and every time I refused. I used to ask, “When will you talk to your parents about our relationship?” He always replied, “I’ll talk to them in 2-3 months.”
On January 1, 2024, I planned and arranged a meeting with him and my friend. I told my best friend to go inside and talk to him while I waited outside. After 10 minutes, I went inside the café. My friend sat beside me, and we were chatting on WhatsApp. I asked him, “What do you think about his nature?” My friend replied, “This man is not loyal to his words.” After that, the three of us went our separate ways. In the car, I sat with my ex and started crying and shouting in frustration.
He didn’t try to comfort me. I told him to stop the car and went home crying. I thought he would try to communicate or apologize, but he didn’t. I called him 100 times on WhatsApp and regular calls, but he ignored me. On January 5, 2024, I saw a post from an astrologer on Instagram that said, “Get your lost love back.” Here’s where I made my biggest mistake. I started trusting those posts, believing in superstitions.
I didn’t want him back to love me, but I just wanted to know, “What was lacking in my love?” On January 5, 2024, I called an astrologer. He said, “This man loves you a lot, but a girl has trapped him with black magic. He wants to come back to you, but the black magic is stopping him. Only you can save him. You need to do a Shiv-Parvati puja to save your relationship. You just need to pay 2000 rupees to start the puja.”
When he told me only I could save him, I gave my best effort again. I wasn’t earning as I was a student, so I asked many male friends for money without telling the real reason. I lied and got the money. I gave 2000 rupees and started the puja. The next day, the astrologer said he would chant a mantra and I needed to respond, which I did. I got a call from my ex, but due to network issues, I couldn’t talk to him.
I told the astrologer. He said, “You have a burden on you, that’s why this happened. Pay 8000 rupees to remove it. The longer you delay, the more pain you will face.” I started arranging money again but only managed 5000 rupees. Then I thought, “Enough. I won’t ask anyone else.” Days passed, and the astrologer kept texting me to remove the burden. I ignored him. On January 17, 2024, I got a call from my ex from Dubai.
He said, “Who are you? Why are you harassing me with calls and messages from different numbers? I’m with my wife. If you call or message again, I’ll file a police complaint.” I also heard a female voice behind him saying, “Give me the phone, I will talk to her.” He blocked me and cut all ties. I told my female best friend, and she said, “Men never truly love. Keep an attitude, use them for timepass, because men like attitude girls more.”
Now I just want to ask one thing, especially to boys:
1. Would any man accept me in the future after knowing all this?
2. Or should I also start doing timepass with boys like some girls do (as my best friend suggested)?