It was in 2022 when I got a follow request from a girl. She was my relative, so I accepted the request. We started chatting, became good friends, shared numbers, and started talking on calls. After a few months, she proposed to me, but I clearly told her that I was not interested and had no intentions like this.
Let me clarify one thing. We both live in different cities, and we have never met in real life-only seen each other at a wedding. So, literally, I don’t know anything about her, but she told me that she had been stalking me for 6 months, saw my picture on her relative’s mobile phone, and was interested in me way before I knew about her. Then she found my Instagram account, sent me a request, and approached me like this.
She told me all of this, but I still refused the proposal and told her I have so many family issues and financial problems. I just wanted to focus on my goals, but she pleaded with me and told me to trust her, that she would support me, love me, and would not leave me because of my bad situation.
So, I accepted her proposal… (Because I have no friends, was bullied in school, failed in school, got into depression due to my family property dispute, and have always stayed alone from childhood till date… She was the only one in my whole life who cared about me and wanted to be with me…). I accepted the proposal but told her I would not come to meet her until I had a stable job (I was in my 2nd year of college then). We would keep this private long-distance relationship until it became permanent.
She accepted all of this. I was happy that now I had someone who listened to me, didn’t judge me. I became so comfortable around her that one day I cried a lot on a call with her (I had never cried in front of anyone since my 6th grade) because I was insecure that people would judge me, but she pampered me and told me it was okay to cry.
That day, I realized she was the one. But after 1.5 years of the relationship, I had still never seen her in real life. I was so emotional that day that I told her, “I will marry only you and no one else, or I will die single.” After this, within 3 days, she started ignoring me.
She wouldn’t reply for weeks, and one day she told me that she didn’t want to talk to me. I tried to talk to her, but she was ghosting me. And one day, she told me, “Mujhe apni baat khatam karni hai” (I want to end this). She wanted to end the relationship. I asked her why, and she told me that her family wouldn’t accept me due to my financial condition. I told her to wait for 3 years until I got a stable job, but she refused.
I asked her, “If you already knew that your family would not accept a boy like me, why did you come to me in the first place when I already told you about my condition?” She told me she was stupid at that time. I was like, “What?” So basically, I refused her proposal in the first place because I was poor and struggling, but she still convinced me she would support me and wait for me until I became successful. And now she is leaving me because of the same reason…
Reminding me of my insecurities (I already told her that my mother has suffered a lot due to our family disputes, so I don’t want my future wife to suffer the same. I will work hard and then get married, but she has to wait for it). But now she left me because of my condition. She was the only person I had to talk to.
And it’s been 2 years, and I still think about her. She was the first and the last girl I wanted to be with my whole life. Now, I don’t trust any girl. Even one of my colleagues proposed to me, refused because I want her. I don’t want to replace her with anyone. But I felt cheated and used as her “time pass.” When I was not very interested, she came into my life, but when I got feelings, she left.
And yes, I still have never met her till date after all of this because I know if she came in front of me, I wouldn’t be able to handle myself. I would start having chest pain at that moment. I don’t know what I should do. Should I meet her and talk about everything and try to convince her Or just move on? But I feel used, like she just used me for her time pass. So what if I met her and she was not serious about me at all and was just using her family as an excuse to leave me? ~ Anonymous
Question: What should I do-talk to her or move on?
Option 1: Talk to her and clear things
Option 2: Move on