I am a self made man who lost my parents at a young age. I was a simple, free spirited but virgin boy until marriage, always focused on my career. I married late, at the age of 32, after struggling to find a girl, and finally, I found one through an arranged marriage. I have a 4 years old daughter. There wasn’t much connection with my wife, and our personalities were very different. Sex was almost absent except for the initial 2 to 3 times.
She is an independent, working woman. She is also an orphan, which is why I feel obligated to stay in this marriage. I have always been a social man with many friends and neighbors. I like to mix with people, help everyone, and live my life like a kid at heart. I have a demanding government job where I work 14 to16 hours a day, constantly interacting and making connections with many people.
During an event, I got close to my best friend’s single sister, who is 33, from a well to do family, a successful entrepreneur, and a perfect woman. Her family treats me like a son, and I am like a family member to them. Her entire extended family knows me as her cousin’s best friend. I often stay at her place, eat food, play, talk, and even sleep there. She loves me a lot, and we even got physical. In fact, she is the only girl who taught me intimacy. She understands me emotionally and loves me like a baby.
Her presence feels like a dream in my life, and for her too. She struggles to find a good human being in arranged marriage setups and is frustrated with the transactional nature of the matrimony system. We are sure of our love and fantasize about how happy we would be, surrounded by family with their blessings. Even my daughter is very happy with her and prefers to be with her.
I am worried that if I divorce my wife, I will be blamed for ruining her life, and she will be hurt. I am not concerned about alimony or money, but rather the emotions and bad reputation that come with it. My wife is least bothered about my whereabouts and what I do in my life. Practically, we live in the same house but lead different lives. I think even she is not happy with me, as we have frequent fights over small things.
People will think I left my wife for a rich girlfriend, and it will be considered bad karma. Also, my lover’s parents might feel that I betrayed them by having an affair with their cherished daughter. Their love for me might turn into hatred, and I could lose an entire family that is valuable to me. At the same time, I feel we should show courage, and eventually, everything will be fine since all her cousins know about us, and they recognize that we are both good human beings.
It is difficult for her too, but she is ready to take a stand for me. She says she will adjust in the initial days and won’t let me lose respect in front of her parents. How can I let go of such a beautiful fairytale that is happening in my life? I wish that one day, my wife herself would offer me a divorce so that I wouldn’t be blamed.
Question: What should I choose?
Option 1: Stay in the affair and don’t think much.
Option 2: Be strong, take a divorce, and marry my love.